Solace
by Ivorylion
Summary: Jasper Whitlock POV. Takes place after Jasper leaves Peter and Charlotte in search of a life without the guilt of drinking human blood. Chronicles his first meeting with Alice, the Cullens and an unexpected encounter with his past. Please R&R!
1. Madness

Alright, here's the first chapter to the story. Please R & R!! Thanks:)

Twilight characters property of Stephanie Meyer.

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I had finally arrived at the "ghost town" I had heard about from the nomad vampires. It was an old town named Huxberry, completely broken down and destroyed after a large fire had ravaged through it in 1950. Back then, this was the only place in the Pennsylvania farm country with anything remotely interesting to do. After the fire had tore through it and destroyed many of the close packed houses and businesses, no one had bothered rebuilding. Philadelphia had grown in popularity and offered much more interesting attractions. Now, it lay forgotten and rotting away in the hills. Most of the farmers avoided the town; a palpable air of menace surrounded its borders. Mysterious fires never bode well with religious farmfolk.

I walked through the town slowly, reaching out with the fingers of my mind to probe the old, delapidated buildings. It was nearing dark, and it was harder to make out the borders of the ghost town. I felt where my eyes couldn't see, looking for any sign of human or vampire occupants. There was no emotion to be felt anywhere, just the stirring of the wind and the whipping of tattered flags and flyers.

A flock of crows was nesting on the roof of a general store, and I concentrated on a large bird at the end. With animals, it was nearly impossible to tell their exact mood. The colors of their emotions were muted and hazy. But there was a primitive form of an aura surrounding them which gave me some inkling as to whether they were angry, happy or sad. Those were the only real emotions I could feel from anything non-human or vampire.

The wind suddenly picked up and blew swiftly by my face, and I breathed in an unfamiliar scent. It was highly acidic, biting and sharp. I closed my eyes and followed the invisible trail, concentrating all my senses on the origin of the smell. I hadn't expected to find anyone still wandering around in this abandoned city.

My nose drew me to a narrow alley made by two huge brick buildings. I guessed that one was an old pub, and the alley lead down to an underground storage and wine cellar. A few trashcans lined the second brick building. The enclosed space was threatening, but I was drawn in as if puppet strings were connected to my feet.

Ever since leaving Peter and Charlotte, I had been wandering the eastern coast of the United States, battling with my wicked desire to drink human blood. I had stuck close to the wilderness, avoiding big cities and skirting small towns, picking off the occasional dog or cat and men whom the towns would never miss. The homeless were easy targets, but the guilt still pained me. I tried to eat less and less, letting my eyes fade to a charcoal black before I would eat again. And then the thirst would rise up like an angry demon, all-consuming and unforgiving. And I would give in, against my conscience and my very being.

So the prospect of feeling something other than guilt was highly enticing. Following the acidic scent and having a mission offered an out to the terrible sadness. I pressed forward.

My sixth sense picked up a most peculiar mood, one that wasn't angry, depressed or frightened. Rather, the mood depicted a violent confusion, a mixture of quickly changing emotions. The atmosphere changed so rapidly that the colors I saw all blended together, becoming a deep grey. I stopped in my tracks, my muscles tensing. I had to know what this anomaly was.

I was also keenly aware that anything this unstable could be very dangerous. But I was confident in my training and abilities. Clenching my jaw, I turned around and crept slowly into the shadows.

It was now so dark that color barely existed. A large roof overhung the pathway, intensifying the darkness and turning everything into muted shades of black and grey even to my vampire eyes. The ultraviolet spectrum disappeared entirely. Even for my kind, this type of darkness was unsettling. _Anything_ that took away a vampire's senses to any degree was unsettling. I frowned and pressed on down the pathway to find the door to the wine cellar left open. Curiosity drew me on, down three flights of stairs, into the ground.

A strange humming met my ears. It was beautiful, flowing, but extremely erratic. The melody changed keys multiple times in a few seconds and then would abruptly end. A breathy laugh floated up from further down into the ground. I continued to descend.

Then the smell hit my nose. My vision became tinted with red. My throat burned, burned with a thirst so profound that I thought it would turn to ashes. I immediately sped up my pace, going still downward, until a faint light began to pulse from a landing. Here, one flickering, lone lamp hung from the ceiling, throwing off sickly yellow light. The humming was louder, broken periodically by the breathy laugh. I could smell the stranger, too. He was the source of the sharp odor that had burned my nostrils before, the burning of a powerful chemical. All of the clues pointed to one entity... definitely vampire. First off, no human could ever see in this blackness and no human would ever smell so repulsive. Second, the humming was too beautiful to come from any human vocal chords. And third, no human would want to be around so much blood.

I finally reached the bottom, and hovered by a wide, squat door. The wood was chipped and weathered. I pressed my hand to it and closed my eyes. On the other side, the hysteria churned in a massive gray, colorless cloud. Without any more hesitation, drawn by my thirst and curiosity, I broke through the door and fell into a crouch on the other side.

My eyes took in many things at once.

There were other emotional spheres here besides the swirling greyness. Three human females in tattered dresses were chained to the right far wall. Their minds gave off pulses of red fear. They clung to each other in the darkness, sobbing softly. It looked as if at some point in the last week they had attempted to go to a dinner party, perhaps as far away as Philadelphia, but were unexpectently deterred along the way.

And their dresses were stained with blood. The vampire had killed their three male companions and had left them on the ground to rot in their suits. The blood had seeped across the stone floor, filled the cracks in the ground and coagulated. Why hadn't he drunk it? Why was he wasting it? Why were the women still alive?

I simulatenously saw the left corner of the room where the hysterical grey cloud fit tightly around a dark figure. The humming abruptly stopped and a pair of eyes surveyed me with amusement from the corner. The stranger sat at a wooden table, with his hands folded. He was a translucent, emaciated, tattered vampire with wide black eyes. He hadn't eaten in a very long time and I could make out the dried up veins beneath his thin skin and the purple shadows below his eyes. He looked breakable, but I knew better. Starving vampires were extremely dangerous. All of their remaining strength was diverted to the muscles so that they could hunt and save their sorry hides. He would be very strong.

His voice cracked the darkness.

"They...they don't change. I want-I want to watch them grow. And they never do. I get so frustrated. I get so frustrated."

He rocked back and forth then, so quickly that I was certain the humans would not have noticed. I never left my crouch. One of the humans whimpered. They clearly wouldn't beg me for help, when I crouched like a wild tiger in front of them. I looked to be nothing but another threat, not a savior at all.

Tattered hair framed his face and fell across his black eyes. He didn't brush it away.

"Why...why won't they change? I just want to see them grow. None of them grow for me. They always get too weak before I see it, and I'm forced to kill them." He gestured to the three men who were freshly killed.

"You, you don't change. You're a night walker." He nodded at me, to himself. His eyes twitched to my scarred neck and he smiled slowly.

"As are you," I growled back.

"No, no...I am an angel of death. I don't belong in this world."

At that the women cowered further into each other and renewed their sobbing.

"Why aren't you drinking? Why are you starving yourself?" I asked, truly curious. I remained in my crouch. My throat burned fervishly as I smelled the coagulated blood all over the floor and the three humans who fretted in the corner. It disgusted me to be so excited by their predicament, but I couldn't repress the feeling. They were chained there, so vulnerable, their jugulars pulsing quickly.

"I don't need sustenance. I need only knowledge. And when they displease me, I kill them. My creator killed me when I displeased him. And yet, here I am. I am giving them a gift...they are providing the heavens with knowledge."

"You're torturing them." I felt the anger begin to grow. "You're starving them like you're starving yourself. Of course you won't see them grow, when they grow so slowly. But they do grow. They are human. Why don't you...release them?"

It pained me to say it. I ached so badly to drink one of them. It had been a week since I had eaten, and it had been nothing but a street dog. I tried to maintain self control.

"Won't...see it?"

"No, you won't." And now I knew that the source of the swirling greyness surrounding the vampire was madness, pure hysteria. So this was what it felt like. It intrigued me, but also put me on the sharpest edge. I didn't like its unpredictability. The mixing of anger, fear, sadness, happiness. All of the colors with no clear borders. It was maddening to watch them swirl about each other, never focusing on one shade. I shook my head clear of the distraction and narrowed my eyes.

"Release them, or I'll be forced to make you."

At this, the women gasped and stared at me hopefully. The crazed vampire twitched rapidly and then scowled.

"They're my experiment. Not yours. Leave, night walker, or I'll be forced to make you."

My head cocked slightly at the parroting. I growled deep in my throat.

"Don't play games. If you don't release them now, I _will _tear you to shreds."

He laughed his breathy laugh. And his fingers twitched. And then he lunged with speed so fast that I could barely have been prepared.

His starving, deranged brain had forced his unwilling body into overdrive. His long fingernails dug into my arm as he swung me across the room and slammed me into the stone wall. I felt a sharp jab of pain as my shoulder crunched against the granite. He delighted at the sound, closing his eyes and releasing a keening cry. The women screamed.

And then the bloodlust took over. I pushed off the wall and flew at him, pinning him against the floor and biting visciously into his neck in a dance that was so rehearsed it was second nature to me. His skin yielded easily to my teeth. I ripped and tore at him while holding him down with one hand. He yelled loudly and thrashed underneath me, but even his starving strength was not enough to save him. He abruptly shuddered and then his black eyes clouded over. It was done. But my lust was not satiated. My teeth were still bared, my fists clenching and unclenching. The throbbing in my shoulder only served to further my excitement, the pain coursing through it giving me more fuel, like the adrenaline in a human's veins. I turned on the three women. Where before they looked at me with hopeful eyes, now they were full of fear. The red cloud that surrounded them all was overpowering and growing steadily. I could smell the emotion.

And then, as quickly as it had come, the bloodlust disappeared. I hated myself for letting it get a hold of me, as it had when I was a newborn. I was better than that now. I had dispatched the immediate threat.

I did not want the humans to be so afraid, when they had already seen so much horror. With as much grace as I could muster I walked to them slowly, cringing at their cries of fear. The chains ripped easily from the wall with a metallic screech, freeing them. I looked down at their fallen companions and a pang of guilt shot through me. It was our kind which ruined their lives, which took everything from them. I crumpled, the weight of the fear and sadness crushing me into the ground. I heard their hurried feet on the steps, but I did not look up to see them go. My vision dimmed at the corners. I hated myself.

All was quiet for what felt like a millenia. And then a warm, soft hand caressed my cheek and I startled, shooting back against the wall. The woman froze, her beautiful face a mask of confusion and pity as she watched me cower. She tucked a strand of dirty red hair behind her ear.

"You saved us," she whispered breathlessly. "Thank you, thank you so much. I don't know who or what you are, but you've saved us."

She took another step forward and I saw her eyes sweep my face. She turned her head slightly, her lower jaw falling slack.

"You're so beautiful...like...like an angel."

I laughed inwardly at the preposterous comparison but continued to stare at her face. So trusting and vulnerable, even after she had just seen me tear her captor to shreds. As if I was no longer dangerous. As if instead, I was some sort of celestial being. So naive. So sickening, that my features should draw in her feeble mind even after she had witnessed what I was capable of.

She bent down then, her tattered dress brushing the ground, and leaned toward me. I could smell her sweet scent and I closed my eyes against it. And then suddenly, her soft lips pressed against my own, and I froze.

She straightened up and laughed nervously. "Thank you, angel. Thank you, thank you, thank you."

And with that, she darted quickly from the dungeon and back up to her world.


	2. Alice

On my way out of the old wine cellar I started a fire with a lighter from my pocket and the clothes from the fallen victims. I had started smoking years ago and always carried one around. There was obviously no harm in it, and it was a curious sensation which I enjoyed when I was nervous.

The mood of the afternoon had deteriorated into nothingness as the women fled completely from the town. The crazed vampire was dead and burning, and once again the buildings were silent and at peace. I climbed up the stairs several hours later, followed by the incensed smoke, back out into the street. I had spent a few hours down in the dark cellar, watching the pieces of my victim attempt to put themselves back together and thinking. It was daylight now, but I knew there was no one around to see me. My skin sparkled brightly in the morning light and I scowled angrily at it. If it weren't for this blasted glitter, I could perhaps enjoy a walk in public with the sun on my skin, something to calm my jangled nerves.

Without meaning to, the face of the woman I had rescued earlier kept popping back into my head. Her fiery hair, light dusting of freckles and vivid green eyes had left quite the impression. And since she thought I was an angel, well, I was sure she wouldn't mind seeing me again. But perhaps now that she had had time to digest what had happened she would change her mind.

After all, she had seen me tear the limbs off a half-dead vampire who had tried to starve her into "growing" for him. Her date to some unattended dance had been killed in front of her and left to drain out on the floor. I was sure the sight of me would scare her half to death. But part of me wanted to see her again. I had no friends since Peter and Charlotte, and human or not, I craved company. The solitary life of the vampire was wearing on me. Through all the years that I had killed for Maria, I had hated the loneliness that it left me with. I could have no allies, no lovers, when my destiny was to plot, kill and destroy. Being with Peter and Charlotte was a blessing, but they unfortunately didn't like the idea of abstaining from human blood. And it just wouldn't work if I watched them kill innocents while I tried to quit the addiction.

So perhaps it wouldn't be so bad if I found the woman again. Perhaps it would give me something to shoot for. I knew this woman, and I had saved her once. I didn't want to undo my good deed by killing her. So my goal would be to spend time with her, to just talk to her, without killing her.

It couldn't be too hard, could it?

My feet began the journey, without my brain willing them to, and I was soon on my way to Philadelphia, following her scent. It wound along the road out of town, stopped at a gas station about three miles away and then disappeared. But she was clearly on her way to the city, probably riding shotgun in some stranger's pickup truck with her friends wedged in next to her. Maybe there were fliers out for the girls, "MISSING" for who knew how long. They hadn't seemed too thin when I had found them, so perhaps he hadn't had them down there longer than the night. Perhaps their parents had simply thought that they had stayed out too late and had a bit too much to drink.

In order to get there faster, I wandered into the cover of the woods and began to run. Overhead, the sun was bright but the air felt ominous with the change of pressure. In a few hours, I was sure there would be a downpour.

I passed a herd of deer grazing quietly in a field, and wondered idly if I could force myself to drink one of them. Ick. They didn't smell too appetizing. Even the dogs smelled better. Comparing the smell of humans to animals was like comparing grape juice to wine.

The wind whistled through my hair and I felt my mood begin to slowly calm as the sun flickered red behind my closed eyelids. The speed made me feel free and whole again, and I hardly noticed when the flickering ended and I found myself in the open.

I had darted into a parking lot of a movie theater, and my skin was glittering. Cussing angrily, I darted behind an old VW beetle and squatted down. No one had seen me, I was sure. But now I would have to find some place to hide out until nightfall. It had taken me shorter time than expected to make it all the way to Philadelphia, and I'd have to find a way to occupy myself to pass the time. I was beginning to feel the pangs of thirst that had hit me in the wine cellar, but I tried to ignore them, pushing the urge deep down into the pit of my stomach.

Suddenly, a large cloud crossed over the sun and the glittering abruptly ended. I took advantage of the situation to dart from behind the car into the theater. On a sunny day, what were the odds of a lot of humans congregating in there? I was getting better at the self control thing, but it was still difficult to be around a lot of humans at once. I bought myself a ticket to some boring movie whose topic I could care less about and sat in the back row with my feet up on the seat in front of me. The movie lasted an excruciating two hours which was only made worse by the presence of a tiny girl in the front row who continued to turn around every five minutes and point. Her mother ignored her. I stuck my tongue out at her and she giggled lightly before scooting back down into her seat.

My thirst continued to gnaw at me, and I found myself wishing ferverently that I hadn't trapped myself inside the theater. In here, the smell of the humans was magnified. Before the girl could turn around for the sixty-third time, I ducked out of the back exit into the brightly lit hall. An employee stared at me from the end of the hall, broom in hand. She smiled at me, dimples popping out of her face.

"Hi," she muttered sheepishly.

"Hello, miss." What was it with all these staring girls? I smiled back, flashing my teeth. She blushed. The rush of blood made my lips tingle and I excused myself with a little bow, slipping out into the lobby.

Luck was with me today. It had begun to rain. Outside the water pelted the sidewalk in large drops, splattering the windshiels of the passing cars and glancing off of umbrellas. Humans ran quickly across the street, splashing through puddles and hailing cabs. Perfect. The sunlight wouldn't expose me, and I could walk about town like I had wished earlier in the day. Maybe find the redheaded girl I had saved and ask her to coffee. I wouldn't drink the putrid stuff (of course), and it would be quite the exercise in self control, but I was up for the challenge.

The rain felt warm as I stepped outside. I knew it was just a trick of my cold skin, but it was comforting nonetheless. I hadn't been this happy in the longest time. It might have been the high of doing a good deed, of adding a tally to the "Heaven" list and taking a tick off the "Hell" one. I was surely still going to burn, but I would try to atone while I could.

I found myself wandering down a side street towards the front of a diner named "Carla's." Slow, melodic music poured out from inside, and the windows were foggy and glowing. It seemed warm and inviting enough, much nicer than the ghost town had been. Inhabited. I felt less like a creature of the night here than I did wandering alone. I could try to fake my humanity, as long as the rain kept up. But obviously I would look much less odd if I went inside, out of the warm, yet pelting downpour.

The door jingled as I pushed it open, and a few faces turned to look at me. I scanned the room with narrowed eyes instinctively, but barely made it halfway before I froze.

Perched high on a swivel stool sat the most beautiful girl I had seen in a hundred years. She was tiny, so petite, with shoulder length black hair which stuck out at various angles around her face. She was turned to face me, as if she had expected me to come. Her eyes were an astonishing gold, and her skin a flawless ivory white. I knew she was a vampire, yet my brain couldn't wrap around the contrast. How could it be? I had never seen anything like her, and yet it felt so _right._ A pair of full lips pulled back over perfect teeth to smile at me, and I felt my dead heart jolt.

But it wasn't just her looks that had me frozen. Surrounding her, almost blindlingly, was an aura of the brightest yellow. She literally glowed with happiness, contentment, with assurance, with a confidence and charisma that I had never seen before. I immediately felt _whole_, as though the entire last century had never happened and I was no longer just an emotionally and physically scarred shell of a man. The wine cellar was far away. Maria was farther away still.

I couldn't move, I could only stare. I knew I had let my guard down and I was extremely prone to attack, but I couldn't bring myself to do anything about it. With the grace of a goddess she hopped off the stool and stood before me. The waitress behind her wiped the counter with a wide grin on her face.

"You've kept me waiting a long time." The girl laughed softly, one hand on her dainty hip.

I ducked my head, feeling slightly embarrassed, although I knew not why. And suddenly, very nervous. My body tensed and a spot on the ground became extremely interesting

"I'm sorry, m'am."

She laughed a trilling laugh and reached out one little hand. Her nails were painted in a shiny pink, and I couldn't help but notice an intricately braided silver bracelet on her wrist. Everything about her was so perfectly put together. _She_ was perfect.

And so it was without any doubt in my mind, only a boyish nervousness that I thought I would never be capable again, that I walked out of the diner, hand in hand with my mystery girl.


	3. Vision

"So Mr. Whitlock, were you expecting to go home with a girl this evening?"

"I...no m'am, I wasn't. But you were clearly expecting me. How do you know my name?"

"I know a lot of things, but we'll get there in time. I know that too. First thing's first...my name's Alice." She pulled free of my hand in order to offer it to me again, only this time, for a handshake.

I was still in awe. I felt like everything was in slow motion, and I gaped stupidly at her face, at the beautiful yellow aura around her body. Slowly, after what felt like an eternity, I shook her hand. It was warm and firm.

"There. And you're Jasper Whitlock."

"I...I am."

"What a cute accent."

If I could have blushed I would have. I suddenly felt disarmed and completely silly, and a new surge of embarrasment crashed over me. But it didn't last long. It was simply _impossible_ to feel anything but contentment around her. As if a great pair of arms were continually hugging you. As if you had just ate the most fulfilling meal, but it wasn't at the loss of human life. The feeling reminded me of playing in the street with my dog as a child, back in Texas, when I was ignorant and blissful. It was everything comforting, and everything I had been dreaming of in the past century of pain and suffering.

"Well, aren't you going to talk? It's not everyday a pretty girl comes along who knows your name out of nowhere."

I looked up at her face again, but couldn't find the words. She was holding my hand again, and I squeezed it gently, smiling wryly. It was all I could do.

She stopped and sighed.

"Well, well, well...it seems we have a lot of work to do. We have an emotional vegetable on our hands. Don't you be letting me down now...like I said, I've been waiting a pretty long time and I don't want to be disappointed!"

I scoffed inwardly. Emotional vegetable? Hardly. If only she knew how she affected me...

"I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that." She smiled widely then, and passed her other hand suddenly through my hair. I jumped slightly, not used to other creatures touching me unless they intended to hurt. As if she could read my thoughts, her hand fell to the shoulder I had cracked the night before after hitting the stone wall. Her eyes were worried, and they searched mine hesitantly. Her aura dimmed slightly, fading to a light yellow with tinges of blue around the edges. My pain made her unhappy.

I immediately straightened up and smiled at her. I wanted to do everything I could to bring that color back, to make her happy again. I couldn't stand to see her little face in a pout, unhappy with anything at all. At that moment, all I wanted was to please her.

"It's fine, please don't worry about me. A little accident, but I heal fast."

"Oh please. Vampires don't _have_ accidents. You're thirsty. We should get you something to eat. It'll help you to heal. And then you can tell me what really happened."

"I'm fine, really. Where are we going, anyway?"

I hadn't even noticed that we had walked a good mile towards the edge of Philadelphia. Time went so slowly with her, it was a miracle we had moved at all. Not once did the surroundings register with me. It was an unsettling feeling, when you were used to looking over your shoulder your whole life. But also strangely calming. Which was also unique, since _I_ was usually the one doing the calming. I hadn't used that power on Alice yet, and I wasn't sure I would ever have to.

"Don't try to change the subject. You certainly are stubborn, aren't you? But of course I saw that." She giggled to herself. "Now, what would you prefer, deer or bear?"

"What?"

"I know you're trying to cut back on human. So I'll help you. Let's get you something to eat, and we can talk. Like a date. If we're going to spend the rest of our lives together, we'd better start figuring out what our similarities are."

The prospect, although surprising when spoken out loud, didn't sound all that bad. I still couldn't believe I was standing next to her, holding her hand, looking into her eyes. She hadn't once looked at my scars. She wasn't afraid of me. It was such a relief. And now her aura was bright yellow again, and it washed over me in warm waves.

My luck was definitely changing.

"Sounds wonderful."

-

The coyote trotted briskly across the clearing, eyes darting this way and that. It was scoping out prey of its own, completely unaware of the two much more superior predators crouched in the trees.

"Now the thing with animals, is you just have to plug your nose when you're drinking. It looks silly, but it works."

Alice smiled next to me, her yellow eyes glinting in the starlight.

"I had a dog about a week ago. It tasted rather bitter." I frowned at the memory, but kept my eyes fixed on the coyote.

"Well I assure you, the wild varieties are much better. They're seasoned. Less fatty. It makes for a nicer taste."

"I didn't know there were such things as vampire food connoissoirs." I had become much more comfortable with her in the time that it had taken us to find an animal.

"Don't tease," she muttered softly, nudging me with her shoulder. "Now come on, we'll work together."

Slowly, very slowly, she stalked out from our hiding spot and knelt down behind a large bush.

"You know, we don't have to be so quiet. It would take about two seconds if we just..."

"Shh!" she silenced, turning around to smile at me. "It's more fun this way."

And with that last statement, she darted out from behind the bush and lunged in a wide, high arc toward the coyote. It yelped as she landed near it, taken by surprise. And then it was over.

"Well, THAT was dramatic," I laughed from the treeline. "Was the flying leap really necessary?"

"Jasper Whitlock, you'll be quiet if you know what's good for you."

The scolding reminded me of my mother back in the South, shaking a kitchen rag at me from the porch. I smiled. Alice leaned her head down daintly to drink from the coyote, demonstrating that it wasn't poison. Then she looked up at my expectantly, beckoning me with her little finger.

"Your turn."

Sighing much more loudly than I needed to, I strode over to the kill and knelt my head down. A smell which was very earthy, a mix of pine and clay, hit my nostrils. It wasn't the tantalizingly sweet smell of human, but it wasn't terrible. I supposed I could stomach it. When I had been in the Confederate Army, we had been forced to eat gruel on some days. This couldn't be much worse. I took the coyote from her and bent my head down to drink. The blood tasted like the coyote smelled, and I drained it quickly.

"There, now was that so bad? Sooner or later you'll have eyes like mine." She gestured towards her golden orbs, and batted her long eyelashes.

"So that's what that is? I was a little worried that you were some kind of freak."

"Freak!? Oh, you're going to get it." She wound up, preparing to pounce, and I tensed up, waiting excitedly to catch her.

And then suddenly, Alice froze. Her eyes glazed over as she stared into space, her entire body tensing. The aura around her immediately disappeared and was replaced by a color that made my hair stand on end. It was a swirling grey, a mix of emotions diving into one another, with no clear borders. It was the color of madness, like I had seen around the vampire who had imprisoned the unfortunate humans. I flew back a few steps and stared, an unwilling hiss escaping between my teeth. When another minute passed without movement, I took one step forward and spoke.

"A...Alice?"

Every fiber of my being told me to run, but I stayed rooted to the spot. If something was happening to her, I wanted to stop it. I needed to stop it. I suddenly felt very attached to this little thing that I had met just hours earlier.

"Alice, please answer me. What's wrong?"

Her eyes remained fixed, staring into nothingness. And then, as quickly as it had come, she snapped back into reality and her yellow aura returned.

"I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm sorry, that happens once in a while."

"What _was_ that?"

"I, I have visions. Glimpses of the future. They're visions of what will happen to someone after they make a decision."

So that explained the change in aura. I knew vampires could have special abilities, heck, I had one. But I had never heard of anything as powerful as what Alice had described. Glimpses of the future? Maria would have killed to have been in command of a vampire like her. Anyone would kill to have her, if they sought domination. Her skill would be amazingly useful.

"What did you see?"

"I saw...us. We were walking through a rainy field, in the middle of a forest. And then a house appeared, out of the trees. A great white house, with large windows in the wall facing us. A coven lives there. Five of them. And they're all...like me. With golden eyes."

"So we're going there?" I took a step closer to her, nervously looking around me as I did. I suddenly felt very vulnerable. I didn't like the fact that she could see inside my mind. It was the one part of me I could protect.

"Well, I've known about this coven for a long time, but I wasn't planning to go. I suppose I just made my decision after I saw you drink. I think we could do this, if we had help. And now I know where they live...somewhere outside of Forks, Washington. It would make things much easier, you know. If we had a support group..."

"I don't really like large groups." Memories of the army of newborns filled my mind. Of destroying them, when they had served their duty. It was a memory that often came back to me, haunting my mind in the dark hours of the night...

She pouted at me, and I shook my head clear of the disturbance and looked at her pleadingly.

"Please Alice, I don't want to go. I don't generally do well with other vampires. They don't like me."

"What's not to like?" She closed the gap between us quickly, taking my hand again. I looked down at the ground and frowned. Her eyes probed my face, looking for answers.

"Look at my neck. Look at my arms, and my hands. What do you see?"

"I see skin. Pale, vampire skin."

"No...there's more. You see the scars. Don't pretend you don't."

"I don't care about the scars. And this coven is different...it's peaceful. They live together, in harmony. Not out of fear, but out of love. I want to go to them Jasper."

"But Alice, _they_ will care about the scars. I've done terrible things in my life. I've killed hundreds, thousands maybe. Most vampires don't trust me, and they shouldn't. I'm dangero-"

"Shh." She placed a finger on my lips and took another step closer. Her arms snaked their way around my neck and clasped behind my head. Her thumb traced a line down the nape of my neck.

"You aren't dangerous. You're misunderstood. But I understand you. And I'll make _them_ understand you. It'll be alright."

And somewhere deep down inside myself, I knew she was right. I didn't know how it was possible, but it felt as if this little pixie woman had dug deep inside my mind and unearthed my darkest secrets. It was if she knew my entire past, but didn't care about it. As if she knew all of my strengths and weaknesses, fears and aspirations. And she accepted it all without judging. Just how long had she been watching and waiting?

And I wanted to know her too, so badly. Even if it took me centuries, I knew that it was what I would always want. How had we been apart for so long?

As if she could hear me, she leaned a bit closer and nestled her face in my shoulder. I shivered slightly, and felt her smile against my skin.

Then, very softly, she whispered in my ear.

"I've waited a long time for you, Jasper. Won't you please come with me?"

And with a resigned sigh, I gave in.

"Let's go."


	4. Union and Reunion

**I'd like to give a big thank you to everyone who has reviewed thus far! I really appreciate your comments!:) It's nice to know that there are people out there reading my story. If you have any suggestions about any part of it please let me know.**

**And with that...on to chapter 4!**

**--------**

She was lying on her side on the ground, her catlike eyes closed. I walked slowly closer, smiling slightly. Her eyes fluttered open and roamed up from my feet to my hair.

"Hello, handsome."

"Hello, Alice. Were you sleeping?"

"Very funny. No, I was searching. Looking for new decisions. Mostly, looking for you. I was wondering if you'd ever come back."

She was ridiculous. How could I stay away? We had been wandering together now for a good week and I had only been away from her for short periods of time. The idea of taking a plane or train to Washington was out of the question. There was no way I would be able to control myself in such a small space for hours on end. And buying a car was silly when we could run practically as fast.

The only time I left Alice was when she was resting, to walk alone. Obviously there was no need to rest, but Alice loved to "stop and smell the roses"... so to speak. She looked at things with a child's eyes; fresh and inquisitive, as if she were seeing them for the first time. As if she had just awakened with a vampire's fine-tuned vision. She would climb into trees simply to survey and smell the land from high up. She would pick apart flowers and swim in the tiny rivers that wound through the forest.

I loved to watch her. It was so refreshing. But sometimes I needed the time to clear my head. I often became very anxious when I was out in the wilderness, as I had always needed to be on my guard. And Alice's perpetual happiness clouded my senses...I felt so at peace that I forgot to be careful. The short walks helped to convince me of the fact that we were alone, that there was no one there to harm Alice. Before we stopped to hunt or rest, I always established a perimeter.

She rolled onto her back and looked up at the sky. I let my eyes fall across her small figure, resting finally on her exiquisite face.

"Do you want to keep going? We're only as far as Iowa, you know. We're in farm country now."

"So then you should feel at home."

"I do, darlin', I do."

Her aura buzzed brightly for a moment as she smiled at me. She loved when I put on my accent.

"Come here, my Southern gentleman."

Only too willing, I went to sit next to her. She immediately began to tug at my hand, and I shimmied down next to her on the grass, gazing up with her at the black velvet sky. She draped one arm over my chest and the fingers of her other hand combed through my hair. I felt her eyes on me, looking at me contentedly. The emotion pouring off of her was so strong I could almost taste it. I let it fill me up, and sighed gratefully.

"You make me very happy," she whispered.

"I can tell. You're positively glowing."

"Do I make you happy?"

"More than you know." I looked at her then, locked in her gaze. I placed my hand on her waist. Up until a few days ago I had been afraid to touch her. I didn't often trust myself to make contact with others...it normally ended badly. But she had convinced me to do it, practically begged me. And whatever Alice asked for, she got.

"Good. Then we're happy together."

"Very."

She leaned up then, and very slowly and cautiously, kissed the scars on my neck. I exhaled jaggedly and then grew silent, lost in the greatest happiness.

"I'm so very glad you waited for me."

"As am I." Her lips traced the line of my jaw and I closed my eyes. She seemed to like this, and hugged me tighter. Her fingers pulled harder on my hair. Even with my eyes closed, I could feel the yellow aura around her, warmly glowing. And with my sixth sense I could see a tinge of pink to the emotion. Lust? I pulled her closer, and her sweet breath caressed my face.

"Alice..."

She leaned in expectantly, but I was suddenly aware of another presence near us. I pushed her off me quickly, feeling sorry that I had to, and jumped to my feet. Instead of pouting, she seemed to understand my urgency. She sprung into a crouch and hissed.

"Who's there?" she demanded, eyes darting back and forth.

This was exactly what I was afraid of. Someone had broken the perimeter, and I was too distracted to notice. It was truly a dangerous pleasure being around Alice. But I wasn't too concerned with the breach...I felt only one presence and there was a slight hint of fear coming off of it. It probably hadn't expected to find two others in the forest. It wouldn't stand a chance if it decided to attack us. Especially now that I had something to defend.

"I am one of you, and I mean you no harm."

A sinewy, ragged looking vampire with stringy black hair stepped out from the treeline and began to walk towards us cautiously. He had his palms up in a sign of peace. His eyes were a bright crimson, and they looked between us suspiciously. The fear increased immediately, its red glow following his footsteps.

I wasted no time lowering into a crouch as well, wary of his darting eyes. I didn't like the fact that he had come so close to a very clear perimeter. I had walked about purposely to leave my scent, and any normal vampire would have avoided confrontation. He froze, staring at us both now, dropping his hands.

"What do you want?" I snapped, showing my teeth.

"Nothing…just a little company. I've been wandering alone." He smiled strangely. The look made my hair stand on end. Something was wrong with this picture.

Alice relaxed a bit, letting her shoulders fall and straightening up. Much too trusting. Her fatal flaw.

"Well you aren't welcome here," I spat back. Alice looked at me reproachfully, but I wouldn't meet her gaze. _I_ didn't trust him. There were just too many odd variables in this equation. Instinctively, I released my power on him, reaching out with my mind to strike more fear into him. All I had to do was feel the emotion myself…relive something that had made me fearful, and then visualize him. It was amazingly easy, unless it was an emotion that I had never felt. He recoiled immediately, taking three steps back.

"What _are_ you?" he choked, in disbelief. His eyes grew wider.

A deep growl rumbled from my throat in answer. I mock lunged at him, and with that he completely disappeared into the blackness.

Alice laughed quietly. "What was _that_ all about?"

"I don't know. Which is a good enough reason to me to keep him away. Is it just me, or have our kind been acting a bit strangely lately?"

"What did you do to him?"

"Gave him a taste of fear. Manipulated his emotions. I've always been able to do it."

Alice thought that over for a moment, contemplating its meaning.

"Have you ever done that to me?"

"Never. What you are feeling is your own. I wouldn't use it against you unless I felt it very necessary."

"Do you use it often?"

"I did years ago. It helped...avoid confrontations."

"I'm sure you'll tell me about it later."

"Much later. I don't want to scare you away yet." I smiled at her. "That was so odd. Wanted a little company?" I laughed at the idea, shaking my head.

"Jealous?" She asked mischievously, winking at me.

"He didn't say whose company. Maybe he meant me."

"Maybe not. We both know who's the prettier one," she joked.

"There's no doubt in that."

She laughed and sauntered over to me. The other vampire's scent was long gone...I was sure of that now. I would have to be more careful around her.

"I like it when you get all riled up. It's very...animal like."

I stiffened. She honestly didn't have a clue what she was talking about. Animal-like was probably the best way she could put it. And I was plenty in control that time. I didn't want her to see me _out_ of control...

"Oh don't be so serious, Jasper. It's nice to be around an assertive man. It's sexy."

I gaped at her, my jaw falling slack.

"You heard me. Now, where were we before we were so rudely interrupted?"

Her lips then found mine, and all thought disappeared. I kissed her back, hard and passionately. My guard dropped completely, despite my earlier mistake. At this very moment, an entire army of newborns could have raced into the forest and I wouldn't have noticed. It felt so good to touch her, to be wrapped in her. I was new again, innocent...human. I hadn't killed or lied or fought. It was all gone. The only thing left was this very moment, and I never wanted it to end.

I took it upon myself to turn up the heat. I wasn't usually one to hold back, and this was certainly no exception. I slipped one hand behind her back and lowered her slowly into the grass. The starlight provided the perfect lighting. It had been so long...

**

"Well, Mr. Whitlock, you certainly are assertive." Alice rolled over to smile at me, her eyes glinting playfully. She glowed in a cloud of pink and waves of contentment rolled off of her.

I smiled at her from the grass, stretching before getting to my feet. The sun had risen and shone brightly above us, casting light throughout the forest. I knew it was swelteringly hot from the oily heat hovering about the ground, but the temperature felt good on my cold skin. In the distance I could see a massive cornfield, and a herd of cattle grazing on a nearby hill. Their tails swished from side to side, warding off flies. About two miles away, a large white silo strutted up on the horizon. Nothing but farm country for miles around.

"We should probably keep moving. Most people will be inside with the sun this hot...we'll be able to sneak around without attracting much attention."

"My little military strategist."

I grinned, pulling Alice to her feet, and brushed off a few pieces of grass from her gray jacket.

"You may want to take this off too...it'll seem a little odd if you're running around in long sleeves."

"You think of everything, don't you?"

"I try."

We walked briskly through the forest, hand in hand. The cornfield rose up around us and disappeared, followed by miles and miles of pasture. The cattle were alert to our presence, and looked up from their grazing to watch us pass. Animals were much smarter about vampires than humans were. The large bull threw his head at us, warning us not to come any closer. I felt a certain smugness radiating off of Alice. She was planning something.

On cue, she turned to me with a motherly look. "Do you need to eat again? Are you thirsty?"

I could see my reflection in her yellow eyes. There was a slight hint of black creeping into my orange-red iris.

"I could eat."

"Then lets go cowtipping!"

With the grace of a mountain lion and the speed of a mach jet, Alice darted up the hill towards the herd of cattle and crouched on the right side of them. They immediately began to cluster together, lowing nervously.

I took her cue and cornered the cattle from the other side, eyeing the great bull. His jugular pulsed enticingly in his tawny neck. It seemed like a good challenge. I felt the thrill of the hunt take over, and bent into a crouch. My senses heightened, and the smell coming off of the cows grew stronger. Somewhat like manure and leather. It wasn't human, but I was growing to be more comfortable with the wilder smells.

I sidled to the right, watching the great animal dig his hooves into the ground. He wound up as if about to charge me, and bucked wildly. His horns looked sharp. I took four quick steps forward, and he spun around suddenly, losing his courage. His flank accidentally glanced along the horn of another cow and crimson blood beaded across it.

That was it. I gave in completely to the blood lust and flew high into the air, landing on his back and gripping his horns firmly. With a snarl I twisted sideways, knocking the bull off his feet and sunk my teeth into his thick neck.

Alice smiled approvingly from a few feet away, the same pink aura roiling around her.

"That was sumthin', cowboy."

I wiped my mouth with the back of my sleeve and nodded, happy that I had felt the same drive for the large animal. It was a good sign that I might someday be able to stop hunting humans. This was definitely a step in the right direction.

But I still couldn't help feeling guilty at the fear that I had felt radiating from the animal just before death. It wasn't the same kind of horror that I experienced after killing humans, but it was a echoed reminder. I looked down at his motionless body and sighed.

"Jasper, you have to eat. And you're doing the best you can. Don't be so hard on yourself."

"It's hard, Alice. I can _feel_ their fear."

She bent down then, and put her hand to my face. Her aura had cooled to a dim blue.

"It's necessary."

"I know."

I didn't want to see her sad anymore. I rose slowly to my feet and surveyed the landscape from the top of the hill, inhaling the hot wind that blew by. There was a faint trace of human on the wind, but more cattle then anything else. It was a good place to quit the addiction.

"We're right by the border of South Dakota. See the sign by the highway? 'South Dakota - Great Faces. Great Places.' Only Montana and Idaho and then we'll be in Washington." Alice pointed joyfully, smiling up at me from a good two feet below.

"Hope you like potatoes."

"Used to love them!"

I grinned down at her and took her hand again. We began walking down the other side of the hill, down towards another cornfield.

And then I saw her.

Upwind of us, standing on the very opposite end of the field, was a small figure with ebony hair. And red eyes.

"Jasper?" Alice turned to me nervously, gripping my hand tighter. "Who is that? She knows you..."

My heart sank. A low hiss escaped my throat.

It couldn't be. It had been years. How had she found me?

"Jasper...?"

The embodiment of my past stood before me with a wicked smile spread across her face.

Maria.


	5. Memory

_The sun was dropping slowly, bleeding red beyond the rocky canyon. Maria sat gazing at it, its redness reflected in her identically colored eyes. Her long hair blew in the cool breeze, casting the smell of burning woodsmoke and desert flowers._

_"You were brilliant today, Jasper. We took down the coven faster than I would have ever imagined."_

_The sandy blonde vampire next to her nodded gravely, his black eyes fixed on her face. Fresh scars glistened on the back of his right hand. They were just beginning to rise, the venom boiling beneath the skin. Maria glanced at them, smiling to herself._

_"More for your collection."_

_He nodded again, but this time turned his eyes to the sun. One solitary ray fought through the oncoming darkness to illuminate the image of the ruined city, miles below, smoking with the bodies of the enemy._

_"Do you have my reward?" His voice was stiff, emotionless._

_"As always, my darling. But first..."_

_Two newborn vampires appeared nervously from behind the couple, their eyes shifting uneasily. They bowed a bit lower while approaching, as though a giant weight had been placed on their shoulders._

_"Maria. You wanted us?" _

_Two pairs of red eyes twitched to her partner, who still hadn't moved a muscle. He didn't pretend to breathe like the other vampires. He didn't blink or shift his weight or even attempt to act a shred human. He wasn't afraid of Maria, as they were. They didn't trust him._

_Maria grinned wickedly and glanced over at her apprentice._

_"Jasper...it's their birthday today. They've turned one. Won't you give them their present? Then I will give you yours."_

_Quicker than it took for the two newborns to register that the vampire had moved, he had snapped their necks. Once incapacitated, it was a rehearsed movement which reduced them to nothing but ashes. He stood over the remains, glowering down, black eyes expressionless. It had taken all of two minutes._

_Maria had disappeared, but was soon back._

_A scream pierced the dusk. She had fetched her present for the young general...a girl of sixteen who smelled of fresh linen and roses. The human squirmed on the ground where she was thrown, her blonde hair falling free of its braids. She choked back a cry, the sound luring in the scarred vampire. Maria bent down to run one sharp fingernail across the girl's forearm. Blood trickled delicately from the wound. _

_He twitched once, deterred slightly at the fear emanating off of her small body. _

_But only slightly._

_And that was simply not enough to spare her life._


	6. Ultimatum

**Hey everyone...thanks again for waiting patiently and commenting! I'll try to get updates out as fast as I can. I was typing this last chapter while on a plane to Philadelphia...I looked for Jasper but he wasn't there :P! **

**Anyway, please let me know what you think of the plot twist/if you have any ideas about where I should take it or if you think I should have left it out. I'm always looking for honest critiques. It wasn't where I was originally going with the story but I think it should work out alright. I also want to add in the meeting between the Cullens and Alice and Jasper (eventually) so stick around if you are waiting for that. It's comin';)!**

**On to chapter 6...enjoy!**

**-Sara**

**__________________________________________________________________**

I pushed Alice behind me, placing myself between her and Maria.

"Jassspperrr..." Maria called in a sing-song voice, barely moving her lips. "Jasper, you aren't being very polite. Come and say 'hi' to your maker."

Alice tensed behind me, and I felt her black anger beating against my back. With my peripheral vision, I caught sight of her face, fierce and intense, staring at Maria like a lionness. She looked more like a vampire in this very moment then I had ever seen her.

The cornfield between the hill and Maria would take only one short bound to span. We were in a trough in the land which shielded us from sight of the highway. A perfect place for a fight, if it came to it.

"Maria, why are you here?" I hissed, crouching a bit lower. She wasn't making any move to attack, but she was decievingly quick.

"Didn't you miss me Jasper? After you so rudely left? I figured you might want a visit."

I gritted my teeth with a sound of metal on metal. An old human instinct took over and I took a deep breath to steady myself against the anger. If I got too upset, the red would cloud my vision and I wouldn't be able to protect Alice.

The air flowed through my nostrils and I smelled something which froze me in my tracks.

No. No, no, no. Newborns. A lot of them. And they were close. They smelled like old blood and smoke. They always smelled the same.

Had Maria brought an army to kill me? What could she possibly want after all these years, besides revenge for leaving her to rot? And how in the holy hell had she even found me?

"Who do you have there, Jasper? She's puny. Looks breakable."

I snarled angrily, crouching lower, getting ready to spring. Venom flowed in my mouth and I could feel my muscles tingling with the energy they were about to release upon her. Alice growled too, stepping up next to me.

"Alice, no. You need to run," I snapped.

"Jasper, no one calls me puny. She's mine." She looked determined, but I knew better.

"There are too many newborns. They'll kill us. You have no idea how strong they are."

"Well you haven't seen me fight yet."

Maria was tapping her foot, impatiently waiting for us to stop talking. I searched the perimeter for the newborns I most surely smelled, but they were nowhere to be seen. Was Maria holding them off, waiting for the right time to attack?

The only option was to find out what Maria wanted and get it over quickly. I didn't think she had it in her to kill me...I hadn't been blind in the years that I had lived alongside her. There were many black nights that she would creep to my side, lust seeping from her body, and commend me on my battles. She would touch my arms and my neck and smile wickedly, proud of her scarred trophy. And I would let her, because I didn't know anything else. I was her slave in every sense of the word.

Until I knew what I was capable of.

"Maria, _what do you want?"_ I shouted, taking one measured step forward. I would not give away my concern for Alice...it would only make Maria more anxious to kill her.

"I have an ultimatum for you, my old friend, and I think you'll agree to it. Enough with this posturing...let's talk, shall we?"

She nodded ever so slightly, just tipping her head a fraction of an inch. From behind her, seven newborns appeared, anxiously taking her flanks. From behind us, three crept over the brink of the hill and looked down. There was someone else with them...not a newborn, but a vampire I recognized. The black-haired vampire from the forest. The one who wanted "company." He must have been scouting.

I cussed under my breath. How could I be so stupid? I should have killed him when I had the chance.

We were surrounded. Alice's head darted around frantically, taking in the scene.

"Jasper..." Her voice was shaky. I didn't even need to see the red surrounding her to know that she was afraid.

Stay calm. Stay calm. Protect Alice. Stay calm.

I weighed my options.

1. Take out as many newborns as possible, while protecting Alice. Last about one minute.

2. Take out Maria, hope for newborn chaos and confusion. Probably get ripped apart in the fray and the next town over gets pulverized.

3. Talk to Maria. Possibly live.

**

The newborns had herded us to Maria and were twitching nervously in a lose circle around us. They occasionally lashed out at each other, nerves giving way to outbursts of anger. They looked like a pack of hyenas, fighting over who would pick off the remains.

And Maria stood in front of us, amongst them, smiling to herself. Once in a while she would turn to them and growl, silencing the petty fighting. To anyone who didn't know newborns, they would look like a group of children, completely inadequate at fighting or listening. To me, I knew that they were killing machines, blessed with the strength of their own blood being digested by their new vampire bodies. Even though they didn't possess the planning, stealth and silence of an aged vampire, they were immensely dangerous. They knew that Maria provided blood for them and because of that, they would listen to her, out of fear and need. It was all they could think about...they had no mind of their own. Their only reason for living. They were ticking time bombs.

I scowled at her, keeping Alice close to my body. I leaned over her protectively, twisting around every few seconds to make sure that the overzealous newborns hadn't gotten any closer. They were afraid of me...I could feel it. Sometimes, the scars did come in handy.

"M-Maria, we don't like him. Can we kill him? Please?" A twitchy redheaded male spoke for his group, who stood behind us.

"No, Ryan. You can't. Speak again without being spoken to and I'll have your brothers kill you."

He sunk back into line, hissing at his comrades, who had instantly turned on him with hate-filled red eyes. They were so easily manipulated.

Maria stepped forward then, finally taking the floor.

"Jasper."

"Maria."

"How have you been?"

"Cut to the chase."

"Alright. Fine. No small talk. I want you to come back to work for me. Erik has been tracking you since Illinois." She gestured toward the black haired vampire who had purposely crossed our perimeter in the woods. "He's quite gifted at that. But not at leading. My little coven here is a bit disorganized, and I haven't been able to do much with them. They're a mere two months old, and I know they have potential. You see, I'm after a swath of land in Texas. There's another coven there whose been established for a long time and they're lead by a band of powerful, experienced fighters. I want that land...the humans are bountiful. We've been feuding with them for a long time and I need to take them down."

I laughed, in disbelief of what I was hearing.

"You've been fighting ever since I left you? Decades ago? When are you going to quit?"

"Even though you ran off to pursue your _humanitarian _efforts, Jasper, the fighting never stopped there. It keeps going, on and on, never ending. The South is not the place for peace."

"We aren't in the South."

"No, we're not. I came further north to find better leaders, since practically all of the vampires in the South are savages. I need my very own collection of talents. I have a tracker, and now I need a general. And guess whose trail I happened to stumble upon in my travels? It was old, fading fast, and tainted by a second, unknown trail...but it was there. None other than the best general I ever had. It was destiny, Jasper. I've never forgotten you, not in the hundred years we've been apart. We made the greatest pair."

Erik's face turned sour. I noticed the jealousy coming off of him and smiled inwardly. So, she had found another sucker to worship her.

"Maria, I never _worked_ for you. And I never plan to again. You manipulated me. You turned me into a monster."

Her face twisted into a fake mask of horror.

"_Me? Manipulated?_ Jasper, I never did such a thing. I simply awoke the beast within. He was there all along, there's no denying that. You are what you are." A slight Southern drawl slipped into her last words and she smiled.

Alice hissed, narrowing her eyes.

"You're a liar."

"Oh! She speaks. Who is this Jasper, a little thing to tickle your fancy?"

I felt the anger growing within me, but shoved it back down. I couldn't give in to what Maria wanted. Alice, however, didn't know her games. She took a step forward and I caught her by the elbow.

"No, Alice. That's what she wants you to do. Don't give her any excuse for a fight," I whispered, speaking quickly.

Alice turned to me then, her eyes filled with hate.

"Let me kill her."

"No. You have to show restraint. They'll rip you apart in an instant if you make a move. _Trust me._"

I glanced around at the newborns then, and saw all of their blood-red eyes staring at Alice. They were locked on, like a missle on a target, waiting to be released. A dark haired male let out a low grumble from his chest and I replied with one of my own.

"Stop, stop. I don't want a fight. It's none of my business who you satisfy yourself with." Maria rolled her eyes, flipping her ebony hair over her shoulder. Although her tone suggested otherwise, I knew she was lying. Seeing me with Alice was torture for her and she was simply _dying_ for a fight.

I straightened myself up and looked her dead in the eyes. My orange-red to her bright crimson.

"So, you have your answer, Maria. _No. _I will not come with you. I have my own life now, and I don't want to spend any more of it fighting."

She looked hurt, but the hurt quickly turned to anger.

"You call what you're living a _life? _You're a weakling. A traitor to your kind. You're a soft, sick thing. You were born to drink human blood. I made you that way. Stop trying to deny it!"

My anger was aching to be released, like a thousand dogs struggling against their chains.

"I don't want any part in your pointless war, Maria."

She frowned then, and her eyes seemed to glow brighter for a fraction of a second.

"Fine. If you won't cooperate, then here's my ultimatum. You come with me, and we take the Texan coven, or I kill _her_. You know you can't stop me. No one knows better than you the power of a pissed-off newborn."

A smile spread from one side of her wicked face to the other.

Everything exploded. Alice pounced forward at her, her small form landing easily on top of the even smaller Maria, and knocked her to the ground. A chorus of shrieking and hissing erupted, the two females rolling in the dust, biting at each other. The seven newborns surrounding Maria closed in on Alice with shocking speed and ripped her away. One of them, overly anxious, went to bite into her arm, and I completely lost it.

The red clouded my eyes and I lunged forward at the newborn who attacked Alice. Like any inexperienced vampire, he reached out to constrict me and bite into my jugular and I ducked lithely under his arms. My arms encircled his waist and I shoved him backward into the ground, digging his skull into the dirt. He shrieked out, panicking, but didn't have the proper footing to right himself. His comrades closed in but were hesitant to make a move. Alice was struggling against their steely arms. Maria was fuming as she was helped up from the ground by Erik. I sunk my teeth into the newborn's arm and ripped to the side, tearing it from its socket. He shouted again and roused the rest of the newborns into action. I felt their strong hands on my shoulders, pulling me backwards as I strained to bite into his neck. Suddenly, a piercing scream filled the air.

I stopped, knowing the voice, panicking. The newborn shoved me off of himself with one arm and then three others landed on top of me. I felt the familiar sharp burn of venom in my right hand and shoulder but held back from attacking. Alice was on the ground, held down by two newborns who were poised to rip her to shreds.

"STOP!!!" I shouted, struggling in vain against the brute force on top of me. Maria was laughing. I wanted to silence her forever.

"Stop...stop, stop." My voice nearly broke on the last word as I watched the red haired newborn move his mouth closer to Alice's white, exposed neck.

"I'll come with you. Just don't hurt her. Let her go, and I'll come with you."

It killed me to surrender to her. It killed me to lose any battle. But I knew I would never forgive myself, could never forgive myself, if something happened to Alice. She was my life, my only reason for living. If she was gone, I might as well dig myself a grave and lay in it until the sun exploded and blew the Earth apart.

Maria signaled the newborns, who released Alice with a flourish. The three on top of me continued to drip their venom onto my arms and torso. They were panting, excited by the battle. I had nearly lost my life.

"You must have known it could never work," Maria cooed to Alice. "He's not the kind of man for you. He's made to fight. He's made for battle. And we have business to attend to."

Alice looked at me, angry, distraught beyond compare, hopeless.

"Go, little girl, or I'll let them kill you."

"I'll wait for you," Alice whispered, her face pinched with pain. She choked on a dry sob and then fled without looking back.


	7. Captive

**Hello everyone!! I'm extremely sorry it's taken me so long to update...I was working on this particular chapter between flights to different vet schools. It has been a very busy January! Anyway, here you go...I made it extra long since you were all so patient:) Please continue to comment and let me know what you think!! Thankkyyouuu!**

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_I am livid. I am burning to fight. It hurts to think about Alice. It hurts to be separate from her. Every moment I am away is harder than the last. I am in agony. I am consumed with hate._

*

We had arrived in Nebraska. It had been at least three hours since Alice left (since I failed her). Maria ran alongside Erik who ran at my left; the red-headed newborn Ryan ran at my right. The rest had dispersed into the woods and tread silently at a safe distance. They were wary of my abilities, but after having dragged me away from their comrade in the cornfield they had gained more confidence. Now they were content with taunting me and showing their teeth whenever they had the chance. Too much confidence.

I had tried continually to reach out with my mind to strike fear into them, but Maria had trained them against the fear. She had taught them not to believe their emotions, to only trust their senses and instincts. She had prepared them against me and showed them how to contain me.

I knew about an hour into our run (after racking my brain for any escape route) that unless I took out Erik or served my full term, I would never be free. Erik would track me forever if Maria asked him to, and the newborns were so fast that making a break for it would be impossible. If I ran away, back to Alice, I would be putting her at risk. And that was unacceptable.

l had also contemplated taking out the newborns one by one in the hope that Maria would stop them from attacking back. In a one-on-one battle with a newborn, I felt confident that I could win. They would always go for the easy kill. As her army fell, my odds would climb. But I wasn't exactly sure how far I could push Maria. She had changed some in the hundred years that we had been apart, and was now drunk on power, half crazed by her years of battle and much more volatile. She had crossed the line by threatening Alice, but I was undeniably caught in her clutches.

Perhaps in an earlier time I would have thrown reason to the wind and attempted to thrash and bite my way out of my current predicament. But I was no longer just looking out for myself. Although I couldn't possibly imagine why, Alice loved me. If I were to die in a foolish attempt at escaping before I had served my term, I knew she would be heartbroken. I couldn't stand to think of her that way. We needed eachother, now, more than ever. I had to believe that I would someday see her again and that Maria would keep her word.

Either that, or kill Erik.

**

We stopped to hunt in Kansas. Five days had past. Five days that I had run with them, without a word. We hadn't stopped. The newborns grew hungry, and as a result they became insubordinate. Maria wasn't stupid; she knew that to keep her hold over them she had to keep them fed.

She sauntered over to me then, dragging a dead human behind her. He was wearing flannels and blue jeans which were now caked with dirt. I imagined that he was some sort of rancher who had made the unforunate decision to check on his flock late at night. Expecting a coyote or a stray dog, he would have found a sweet looking girl with Mexican features, feigning weakness. Her youthful beauty would dazzle him, and he would listen to her story without question. Some small part of him would urge him to run, but her eyes, those childlike eyes, would hold him to the spot.

It was strange to think of the humans as entities with meaning, with histories, but I was starting to see it.

Maria interrupted my train of thought.

"Freshly killed, Jasper. The blood is still warm. I brought him back for you..."

I turned my back on her, growling under my breath and exhaling the last of my air. I had stopped breathing. The smell would be too much to bear. She bent down to tempt me by drawing blood, but I had run nearly a fourth of a mile away before she could release a drop. Two newborns cut me off, snickering. They had blood on their mouths and hands. I hissed at them and they mock lunged.

"Come on, _boss_, time to go back." One of them, named Bradley, shoved me from behind. I turned on him swiftly, showing my teeth, but he simply laughed.

I hadn't been intending on making a break for it. I just needed to get away. The smell was intoxicating. I couldn't give in to her tricks. I knew she was trying to draw me in, win me over.

I wouldn't let her. I needed to stay true to my new lifestyle; one slip up and I could surely be lost. The more I abstained from human blood, the more I distanced myself from Maria. The closer I was to Alice.

Alice.

Alice...

*

In the next few days, I didn't dare stop to hunt for myself. Although Maria had ordered them to give me space, I knew that they were aching to kill me. The worst thing I could do now was show them my exposed back.

I watched the newborns thoughtfully from within the trees. They were wrestling, as usual, blowing off steam. Some of them were neutral towards each other and simply grappled playfully. Others, like Ryan and Bradley, shook the earth. Even though they held back from ripping off eachother's limbs, their matches were much too violent and emotional to be friendly.

Maybe, just maybe, I could get them to kill eachother? Two down, eight to go.

One of the newborns, Charlie, was stationed further into the forest to watch me. I didn't mind him as much as the others. He was much calmer, more in control of his emotions. I was almost envious of the way that he was able to think through situations so rationally given his age. He wasn't able to resist a fresh kill, but he could at least think about the hunt before blindly charging into a situation.

And he had some sympathy for me. In his previous life, he must have been a hippy. Or in love. When the newborns had forced me away from Alice, he had stood on the perimeter, watching. Although I was too crazed to think clearly, I could have sworn he looked a bit upset.

The smell of blood hit me like a freight train. Maria had returned from her hunt, reeking of the substance. I groaned loudly and reeled into the trees, Charlie following me at a distance.

When I was far enough away that the smell no longer affected me, I stopped and looked back. Charlie approached with a wry smile on his face.

"I don't understand why you resist it." He spoke timidly, afraid to anger me.

"You won't understand, not for many years. And even then, you may never understand."

"Is it that girl you were with? With the strange eyes?"

"She has something to do with it."

"Huh." Charlie contemplated my words, nodding to himself. My face was set in a slight frown as I looked deeper into the forest.

"Will you be training us again today?"

"Perhaps."

"I'm very interested in evasion techniques. I'm not in favor of all this fighting."

"How did Maria recruit you, then?"

"She's all we know. She's our maker. Many of the others like the fighting. But not me. I just don't want to be separate from her."

"There are other ways to live. Trust me. I felt the same as you once, but I was wrong."

Charlie looked pained. Grappling with inner demons, no doubt.

A voice came from behind us, and I turned swiftly.

"What's this you're telling my soldiers, Jasper? Trying to turn them on to your way of life? They enjoy theirs. Leave them be."

"M-Maria!" Charlie stammered, bowing a bit lower, avoiding her eyes.

"Charlie, I don't want you talking to him about _anything_ but training."

"Yes, Maria."

"Good. Leave us."

He slinked away. If he had a tail, it would be between his legs.

The smell returned, evoking a cringe.

"Jasper...why do you run from me?"

"You stink."

"I think I smell perfectly lovely."

"You reek of blood."

"That should draw you in, not frighten you away."

"I'm not frightened. I'm disgusted."

"Play nice."

"You first."

She walked a few steps closer to me, placing one hand on her hip. This was surely going to be a conversation I didn't want to have.

"So, please tell me. Who was that girl you were with? I never got her name."

"She's none of your business, Maria. Just a friend. I met her in my travels."

"I've never seen you protect a friend like that..." Her face took on a perplexing look, somewhere between anger and uncertainty. "But...it's not like you ever kept company. Except me, of course."

"Maybe you don't know me as well as you think."

She narrowed her eyes.

"Where were you going?" She cocked her head at me now, curiosity replacing the anger. "Where did you go when you left me?"

"I wandered, for a long time. Nothing felt right. I ended up in Pennsylvania." I felt as though I were betraying myself, betraying Alice, by talking to her, but I couldn't stop the words. After all, she had been my longest companion before our paths had so sharply split. It felt natural to talk to her, even if the reality seemed to suggest otherwise. I still felt angry, still felt spiteful, but perhaps speaking to her would provide me with closure.

"And what were you planning to do?"

"I don't know. I never did. My feet took me there."

I looked away from her, avoiding her probing gaze. It wasn't completely friendly. She always had a demon lurking beneath the surface. A horrible temper.

"When you left, the coven disbanded. They wouldn't cooperate. They were very afraid of you, so they listened. The strongest army I ever had. You had so much potential, Jasper."

"How did you get _this_ coven to listen to you?"

"I've taken a more motherly approach. Selected them carefully. I bribe them, win their loyalties. That's not to say I won't _dispose_ of them if I have to, but...so far its worked. They aren't nearly as strong as the old armies, but that's what you'll help with. Strike some fear into their hearts. You _do_ look frightening."

I ignored her comment. She loved to call attention to my appearance.

"Who has that job?"

"What job?"

"Disposal."

"Bradley. He enjoys it." She smiled crookedly, glancing back to the newborns in the clearing. Bradley was arm wrestling another, dominating the match.

I'd have to remember that. If it came to fighting, he'd be the toughest opponent.

"Brings back memories, doesn't it Jasper? Disposal was your specialty." The demon had surfaced, rearing its ugly head. I turned my body completely away from her, facing the setting sun.

"Maria, I'd appreciate it if you'd leave the past in the past. I may be helping you now, but its only temporary. You forced me into it."

She snickered then, eyes glinting in the sunset. Her hand found my face and I tensed, looking down at her with disdain. She blinked slowly, catlike, and smiled.

"Temporary, Jasper? We'll see about that."

I growled, ripping her hand away from me, and stalked off to the camp.

I needed to get out.

**

On a warm night when it rained, I saw my reflection in a glassy puddle. My eyes were blacker than a crow's wing.

Every day that I spend away from Alice, I lose my soul a little more.

_**_

"Home sweet home."

Maria stood on a large boulder, surveying the land from high up. The sun was hot overhead, baking the earth and drying out the vegetation. There was no scent of rain approaching.

Twenty days had passed. Texas now expanded before us, and the tension was palpable. The other coven was expecting the attack and all of Maria's newborns ran around as if they had electricity jolting through their nerves. They were more belligerent than ever but had given me a wider berth since I ripped off one of Ryan's fingers two nights ago.

Maria hopped off the rock and walked over to me, draping her arms around my shoulders. I sighed audibly, pulling away. She had been getting much too close lately. I gritted my teeth against whatever she was going to say.

"Is it your lady friend? Do you miss her?"

"Stop it, Maria."

"I'm only trying to help. You know, I could look like her. I could chop all of my hair off and twirl it into little spikes. Would you like that?"

"You'd look nothing like her."

Why must she always mention Alice? Rubbing salt in the wound. The wound she had created.

I wrenched her arms from my neck and walked away, the muscles in my jaw twitching angrily. She laughed softly behind me before trailing off into a dramatic sigh. Two newborns who were wrestling nearby paused to watch the conversation, and she hissed angrily when she saw them eavesdropping. They immediately resumed, play biting and slamming eachother into the dust.

They didn't like the fact that Maria showed me extra attention or brought me back human doggy bags.

"You know, Maria, it would be wise for us to keep moving," I called, surveying the landscape.

It would only be a matter of time before the other coven found us. I had trained the newborns as best as I could, teaching them how to destroy. But they didn't want to listen to me. They hated me and delighted in making my life a living hell. Erik hated me the most. But they all listened grudgingly because it is what Maria wanted. When I had been Maria's general before, I had also been a newborn. I had possessed their strength and ruthlessness. Now they outmuscled me. I didn't have their respect.

Only Erik still feared me. He hated the way Maria looked at me, the way she smiled so smugly when I demonstrated a fighting tactic. If the saying "green with envy" was accurate, he would most definitely resemble a cucumber.

This was the only thing that gave me pleasure. Misery loves company.

Besides the newborn's constant hate, I had one other major problem.

I was devastatingly hungry.

As in, I could drain an entire town and not be satiated. But I was trying, trying so hard, for Alice. I didn't want to let her down and feel the pain of the humans as I took their life from them. But I couldn't hunt animals. There _were _no animals but the insects and reptiles. They knew that something was coming, and they fled before us.

Ryan stared at me from a hundred yards away, licking his lips. I would love to pull off the rest of his fingers. Hadn't he learned?

As the sun set, I crossed the state border into my old homeland and breathed deeply. I could smell the humans. Maria really had chosen the best area to fight for. They were everywhere. But there was also enough land surrounding the cities that vampires could stay secret, living in the wilderness.

The starved monster inside me wanted to run towards the distant road, overturn a car and drink the driver.

A side of myself I thought I had left behind had been reawakened. I felt the familiar flow of venom in my mouth, nearly constant. It responded to my anger. I felt the energy in my bones, aching to be released. I felt the insatiable thirst. I felt everything around me, a cloud of frustration and hate. I knew why I felt this way, but I couldn't stop feeling it.

I hate this curse.

**

The enemy coven was getting closer. They were holding off in order to prepare for the battle; to scope out the landscape, to gather the forces. Erik had revealed that there were about twenty of them, which would probably mean that our entire force would be slaughtered. Even with my training, I knew that the newborns couldn't stand a chance against seasoned fighters who outnumbered them. Especially if the trained fighters were smart, and distracted them with blood. If they were willing to sacrifice a few humans, the newborns wouldn't be able to resist.

And what normal, typical vampire wouldn't be willing to sacrifice humans?

We would most certainly lose.

Maria was anxious but overconfident. Even though I had begged her to listen to reason, she was dead set on attacking the other coven. I honestly couldn't care about the lives of the newborns, but I didn't want to be ripped apart in the outnumbered fray.

She paced, back and forth, back and forth, along our perimeter. The sun had just set, and the stars were appearing one by one in the violet sky.

"Jasper," Maria called, beckoning me to come closer and stopping her pacing. I was sitting on a rocky outcropping, my legs dangling over the edge. The air smelled fresher up high, without the stench of newborns to cloud my senses. They were all newly fed, their eyes glowing crimson. As a result, the smell of old blood was magnified. Maria had taken them to Odessa to thin out the population...an entire bus full of passengers never made it to Midland. She left three of the newborns with me, about a mile outside of the city. They weren't too happy about the situation, but she promised that she would return with three humans for each of them if they would watch me and make sure that escape was impossible. She knew that she couldn't force me to partake in the disaster. Instead, I sat at my post and watched a stray dog pick through trash. The smell of its blood made my throat burn.

I walked to her side as she traced the line of our perimeter, putting one foot in front of the other. It wasn't that I wanted to walk with her; I was more interested in what the rest of the group was doing.

Her black hair flew backwards in the wind and I breathed in the familiar scent of desert flowers and woodsmoke. She turned to look at me, smiling, still walking.

"Don't you miss these days? The twilight before the battle? The calm before the storm?" She twined one piece of hair through her fingers, tipping her chin so she was looking up at me through her eyelashes. I frowned, glancing out towards the faraway cities.

"Oh come now, Jasper, you really aren't going to speak to me?"

My hunger made me irritable.

"Do you forget that you forced me here? Why on earth would I want to have a chat with you?"

I saw Erik now, further down the invisible line of our perimeter, gazing thoughtfully into the twilight. With his tracker's heightened senses he was following the other coven, keeping tabs on them. At least they wouldn't surprise us.

He tilted his head slightly to look at us, at which point a vicious scowl crossed his face. I concealed a grin.

"Well, I just figured that as long as you're stuck with me, we might as well reminisce some more. Our future is yet to be decided, but we still have the old days."

"There will be no future. Once we take out the Texan coven, I'm going back to my own life."

Her signature, childish pout appeared, distorting her face. She had tried speaking to me more over the last few weeks and I had given her little response. It was frustrating her.

"Jasper, I was hoping that by bringing you here you'd remember how _fun _it used to be. You'd want to come back permanently."

"It was a false hope. It wasn't _fun_, Maria, not for me."

"You don't miss any of it? You don't miss the feeling of _really letting lose?_ You can't tell me that your new lifestyle is very rewarding. I remember, when you were newly turned, how _excited_ you were to go into battle. It was hard to hold you back."

This comment bothered me. I did miss the fighting, sometimes. Not that I relished being gnawed on or tore at, but I did miss the exhilaration, the ability to really use my strength. To see what I was made of. To feel unstoppable. But that had only lasted so long. Then the realization that I was only a tool, only a machine, had started to sink in. I had begun to feel for my victims. And then everything changed.

I decided against ignoring her. It would make her more angry if I fought back.

"Do you remember the paranoia, Maria? How you would sit up, flinching at any noise? Worrying that your army would turn on you...worrying that the enemy had found you?"

"That's the life of a vampire. I don't know what you've deluded yourself into believing, but we are nothing but animals, Jasper. House pets don't worry about being killed, or starving, or having a territory. They are soft. They worry about when their owners will be home. We are wild, and as a result, we have to worry about self preservation. It's something I have come to terms with. It's why I enjoy the fighting, rather than running from it, like you."

"This is a bit more than self preservation. We sought out our enemy over these last few weeks to _kill them_. Wouldn't you rather just live contentedly, feeding when you need?"

At this she stopped walking, her eyes glowing brightly. She narrowed them, hands clenching into fists.

I saw Erik stand up and tune into our conversation, ignoring his post.

"You truly aren't the same. I had hoped that being back in Texas, back with me, would breath some life into your carcass. But it seems you truly have changed. You disgust me, Jasper. You've become a weakling."

I shrugged, focusing my eyes on a constellation above me.

"Then what do you want with me? If I'm only a weakling, surely I won't help you win this battle. Whose to say I won't join the Texan coven and fight against you?"

She hissed, annoyed at my suggestion.

"Whose to say I'll ever release you! You're captive here, Jasper. No longer a newborn, you can't resist me. As long as my coven stays loyal, you have to do as I say."

"I'll kill you if I have to, Maria. I considered you my partner once, yes, but I've changed. And so have you. My calling is elsewhere. If you stand in my way, I won't hesitate."

I wasn't sure if I could actually follow through with my words, but the thought was growing more and more tempting by the moment. The physical pain I felt daily, thinking of Alice, starving, living amongst the newborns and their volatile personalities...all of it made the monster within me rattle the cage.

Maria was equally inflamed, on edge from the stress of the approaching battle. The smell of the other coven was on the wind.

"I was ready to make you my mate, Jasper! And you threw it away! You ran way with those good for nothing newborns!"

"Is that what this is all about...getting me back? Have you really been holding on to me for that long?" I wasn't sure if this was the real motive, but I suddenly wanted to push her. To cause her pain for ripping me away from Alice.

"And by the way, their names were Peter and Charlotte."

"Ugh! When will you learn, no one else matters but yourself? Why do you care about their names?? A wolf only cares about his packmate if it means he will get to eat. He doesn't care if his packmate lives or dies!"

"You're wrong. Not everyone is so selfish, Maria. This is exactly why I left. You just can't understand what it's like to _feel_."

She shook her head slowly, anger waning and waxing around her body. It fit her like a glove, she wore it so often. Erik started to slowly slink over to us then, a dark look clouding his face. He didn't like what he was hearing. Not one bit.

Maria looked up at me after sighting her slave and locked on with pleading eyes. The anger dissipated, and a thin lining of blue replaced it. Her face contorted wildly before resting on sadness. She reached out suddenly and seized my hand. Was she afraid? Had she finally realized that the oncoming battle was impossible, that I would never truly want to rejoin her? Her logic was so twisted, so unreasonable...she felt that by using force she could hold me forever. Make me want this.

But after having seen Alice, there was nothing else to want.

"You'll stay, won't you? This time?"

I felt a twinge of guilt at the memory of leaving her, years ago. I remembered watching Peter run away after Charlotte, and wishing I could go. I remembered seeing Maria's worried face each morning as she watched my condition deteriorate. She knew something was coming, but was powerless to stop it. She wasn't so rotten then, so hell bent on getting what she wanted. She had some humanity left in her, and simply fought because that was what vampires did. Yes, she used and discarded newborns, but she wasn't irrational and reckless. She was efficient, cunning, and truly cared for me. Now, she abused her power. Now, she was manipulative, cruel...desperate.

I looked her in the eyes, black to crimson. My resolve softened, and I spoke gently.

"I can never be your mate."

A moment of silence passed. Erik hovered near the two of us, his eyes wide with shock.

Suddenly, the blue line about her exploded away, and the red returned, blinding me. She screamed then, let her sharp voice ring in the air. Erik jumped between the two of us.

"What have you done to her?" He cried, defensively pulling her into his arms. Maria shoved him away, roaring with anger. She turned her face to me, and a hideous mask had replaced her doll like features.

"I wanted you, Jasper."

The wind whipped shrilly around us.

"I'm sorry."

She screamed again, and then lunged at me, clawing at my eyes with her white fingers. I grabbed her wrists in my hands and wrestled her to the ground, holding myself above her. She was struggling wildly, her crimson eyes lost and staring. The bloodlust had taken over. I looked down at her, emotionless. A cloud of black had formed around her, obscuring the edges of her form. I felt as I had after every battle of my past; completely devoid of any emotion. The fighting washed everything from my mind, made me focus, made me follow my instincts. Fighting her now removed my disdain for her; she was the target, and I was the arrow. There was nothing more. I knew now, above all else, that she was lost forever. A part of my past that had to stay buried. It was what I needed. To conquer it.

A vision swirled in my mind. I saw myself overlooking a burned city. I saw myself asking idly for my reward after defeating the enemy. But this time, I wanted nothing more than to walk away.

Back to Alice.

Erik had his hands on my shoulders, but I knew he wouldn't try to fight me. Red swirled around him. He also knew that I was not about to hurt Maria, especially now that the rest of the newborns had converged on the scene. They hissed at each other but stayed back. They knew that some irreversible event had taken place, and their feared leader had been dethroned.

She struggled against my steely hold for an hour before she finally stopped.

Her breathing slowed and her eyes regained focus. Slowly, I stood, releasing her wrists, watching her carefully. She made no move to stand and face me again...she simply lay in the dirt, defeated and silent.

A strange peace filled me.

Erik's face was torn between sadness and anger. His eyes flicked to Maria, then the newborns, then back to me. Suddenly, he jerked into a crouch and shouted at the crowd of them.

"What are you waiting for?!? Are you just going to let him attack your leader, and do _nothing_?!?"

The newborns didn't move a muscle. They stood, on edge, eyes suspicious. I awaited the attack calmly, keeping Maria in my peripherals. No doubt they had heard our argument. No doubt they had noticed her previous actions over the last month, her attempts at winning me over. I was sure they were not all completely loyal to her, especially when she spent most of her time threatening them. They knew their own strength, but lacked initiative to leave.

Ryan stepped forward lithely, placing himself between Erik and myself. Maria still lay on the ground, gazing up at the sky, stunned.

"She used us." His jaw was set, his eyes churning like tides of blood.

"What?!" What are you saying?!?" Erik snarled at the newborn.

"I'm saying, she used us. She could care less whether or not we defeat the Texan coven. She wanted _a mate._"

Three other newborns nodded, growling deep in their chests. Bradley eyed Maria, lying vulnerable on the ground. His fingers twitched.

A small bit of hope welled up in me. Perhaps I would make it out of this alive. This dissention among the coven could easily turn into a brawl with the volcanic temper of newborns. Maria had spoken the words that could seal her own fate.

Bradley stepped out of line as well, angling himself behind Erik's flank.

"We can hunt for ourselves...we don't need some bitch to tell us what we can and can't do." He eyed the tracker, focusing on his lanky, ragged figure.

"You're pretty pathetic, yourself. We don't need you, either." A twisted smile crossed his face.

"You wouldn't. We've raised you!!!" hissed Erik, sinking lower into his crouch. He stole a glance behind him then, at the remainder of the newborns. They were talking amongst themselves, shaking their heads. He reeked of fear.

"And where are the rest that you raised? Before us?" A short, bulky newborn grunted from the crowd.

Bradley smirked.

I could hear sounds of agreement and bits of the conversation, although they talked low and quickly. Many were angry, and felt betrayed. Some still felt an allegiance toward Maria, and genuinely wanted to kill the other coven. An air of confusion and anger filled the camp.

It was time to act, if I was going to survive this.

"You're outnumbered!" I shouted, raising my voice. "Ask him. Ask your tracker. There's twenty of them, and ten of you. Although I've trained you, you don't stand a chance. This is a fight you won't win."

Bradley whipped his head back to Erik, baring his teeth.

"Is this _true_?!"

"Y-yes, it-it's true...but you are strong! You can defeat them. Twenty is nothing to this many newborns." He flicked nervously between Maria and the army, unsure of what to do.

"No, I've seen this before. Think about it. If this coven has been around for centuries, _they know what they're doing._ They'll use your weakness against you. How many of you can resist the scent of blood, hmm? If you're wandering alone, and a human crosses your path, how many of you could resist attacking them?"

I glanced around, taking in their reactions. The confusion grew. They were doubting themselves, feeling unsure.

"When I fought, some covens would use blood to distract the newborns. Once you smell it, once you _want_ it, you'll forget your fight. And then it will be over for you. They know your weak spot, and they _will use it._"

Ryan didn't trust me. I felt his hate and mistrust clawing at me like invisible nails.

"No one asked for your opinion!" he snapped, eyes still boiling. "We can win this. _You're_ past your prime. Even if _she_ wasn't invested in this fight, _we are!"_

A few newborns grumbled. Bradley was still eyeing Erik, and Maria hadn't moved. The tension made my hair stand on end. Finally, after what seemed like a millenium, Charlie spoke softly from the crowd.

"Ryan, maybe he's right. Look at him. If he's lived through that many attacks, I'm sure he knows the odds...maybe we should-"

Ryan roared then, silencing the newborn. He slunk backwards. I felt the anger flare up amongst the rest of the group, reacting to Ryan's abuse of power. Bradley snarled at him, annoyed and defiant. These newborns had always been oppressed by one vampire or another, and I could tell that they were sick of it. They were no werewolves, content with following orders.

I was sure I could feed the fire a little more, now that they were not focused on me. I reached out, closing my eyes, feeling with my mind. I saw their bodies through their emotions and concentrated. I thought of Alice in the cornfield. I thought of the group of them, bending down to tear her apart, their eyes full of bloodlust. And myself, laying on the ground, pinned and helpless beneath their strong bodies. Anger ripped up from inside me and flowed out like searing heat into the bodies of the newborns.

Influenced by my power, frightened, stressed and furious as a cornered dog, the newborns began to bicker with eachother. The sound of their arguing roared up into the night sky and eventually broke into primitive growls and shrieks. Bodies sunk into crouches, eyes narrowed and friends turned away from each other. Erik cowered, looking this way and that. And then Ryan began the battle. With a deafening scream he lunged at Bradley, who grabbed him by the arm and swung him into the ground. Ryan shrieked as steely jaws clamped onto his neck. Two other newborns flew at each other with lightening speed, growling and ripping. A sound of tearing metal filled the clearing. Erik attempted to scramble to Maria, who still hadn't moved. Three newborns ran at him, tackling him at full force and knocking him into a boulder. Maria's eyes moved then, to lock onto mine.

I had unraveled her careful plans. Without my desire to help her, without my power to quell the anger of the newborns and keep the peace, I had destroyed her army. I had ruined her dream of uniting us and ruling the South.

The worst hurt a vampire could feel was losing a mate. And today, I had mortally wounded her.

A full out brawl was beginning, the pent up frustrations that had built up within the group finally unleashed upon eachother. I was forgotten. Erik thrashed wildly as he was torn apart, kicking out with the last of his feeble strength to ward off his attackers. Within moments, the tracker was dead, no longer able to ruin my life or that of my beloved. Maria would have no way of finding me again.

As chaos ensued, I took my leave into the darkness, unnoticed. The fight was deafening. I began to run, breathing in the untainted air, feeling the cool wind whipping through my hair. As soon as I reached a low hill, far enough away that the screaming and hissing was faint, I turned around. I looked for anyone who had followed. There was nothing.

But from this height, I could see the Texan coven waiting, far away on the horizon. They were watching the destruction as I was, unnoticed. They would surely attack before dawn and kill the survivors.

A tiny, scarred part of me hoped that Maria would make it out alive.

But a much larger, much more whole part turned away from the scene forever.


	8. Relapse

**Alright, here's the next one...it's a bit dark and extra vampire-y, but it marks the end of Jasper's angsty vacation. From now on you'll be seeing a lot more Alice/Cullen action! Enjoy! **

_**_

_I am livid. I am burning to drink. It hurts to think about it. Every moment I resist is harder than the last. I am in agony. I am consumed with hate._

_*_

I ran as fast as I could, ignoring the branches that slashed at my face and whipped across my legs. The more ground I put between the Texan coven, the newborns and myself, the better. Although they hadn't followed me initially, I was sure that if Maria was still alive she would order a search party to track me down. Now, she would be out for revenge, rather than trying to win me over. Now, I would receive her full fury.

It was night, the moon high in the sky. The blanket of stars was bright and full. At another time, in another place, I would have loved to stop and admire it. I would have loved to cradle Alice in my arms, hold her close and point out the constellations that I knew.

That was what I needed to focus on now. Alice. I would run forever to get back to her.

*

Within hours, I broke through the trees to find myself on a road. One lone car passed me, going slowly around a sharp bend. The driver's eyes widened as the light fell on me.

I could only imagine what I would look like to him.

After he passed, I lunged across the street, my feet landing soundlessly at the other side. I continued at my blistering pace, the wind howling in my ears. Vampires rarely got tired, but I felt hollow and broken. I hadn't eaten in so long. So long. This exercise in self restraint was getting to me, and the hunger was eating away at my resolve. My throat was on fire, burning for the blood that would put it out.

*

Nebraska.

*

Kansas. How long had it been since I stopped?

*

Iowa. Back where I started. Alice's scent was nowhere to be found. Where had she gone? Had she really waited for me? The thought of never seeing her again was too much to bear.

*

South Dakota. I was beyond thinking. My legs moved of their own accord. Days and nights had passed, and I had stayed hidden in the cover of the wilderness. I had scaled mountains, hills and swam through lakes. Anything to cut off more time away from Alice. I had stopped to hunt wolves, to hunt deer, but nothing had satiated my thirst. I didn't feel full, like I did when I hunted with her. It didn't work. My throat continued to burn, needing more sustenance than I was offering it. I was using up my supply much too quickly, running day and night.

I had to make it to Washington. That was the only logical place I could think of that Alice would have gone to wait for me. She hadn't been able to give me any clue as to where she would be when we were separated. It was all up to her now. She would have to use her foresight to see where I was going. My throat clenched.

Please, let her have waited. I had lost concept of time, captive, running, but had she?

The sun set, blood red rays filling the sky. A small town was nestled in the hills.

I caught the scent, the delicious scent, wafting on the wind. It clouded all of my other senses. Nothing remained but that delicious scent. I needed it.

Thirst. Too strong to resist. Need.

With the last of the strength gifted to me by the small deer I had consumed, I ran to the town in the night. As I came up to the back of the first store, I slowed down to a more human speed. The smell was so strong, I nearly lost it. So many humans. So much prey.

I needed cover. Somewhere to drag one, somewhere that I wouldn't be seen. I walked past the store, into the little town square, and took in my surroundings. There was a bar, with a few men and women sitting on the patio. There was a post office, a 7-11 and a liquor store.

A young man stood smoking in the alleyway between them. The rest of the citizens probably couldn't even make him out in the darkness.

I approached the 7-11, lingering in the parking lot, making sure I would not be seen. The members of the bar were distracted, flirting with each other and watching a sports game. It was peacefully quiet everywhere else. I'd have to make it quick, so he had no time to make a noise.

The predatory drive in me kicked in and my senses sharpened instantly. The smell of the young man's blood grew stronger. They were all unique. He wasn't anything special, but he was human and therefore smelled much sweeter than the wild game I had been tolerating. It was exhilarating to be hunting real prey again.

I heard the clink of glasses and quiet conversation of the bar goers. I heard the crickets off in the woods, two miles away. I could see the individual cracks in the brick of the stores.

I stepped into the mouth of the alley, blocking out the light of the street lamps. The young man looked over, cigarette dipping down at the corner of his mouth. His face was perplexed; he may have thought that I had come to rob him, but felt no urge to run. He was temporarily stunned by my ethereal appearance, ripped clothes and all.

I closed in slowly, measuring each step carefully so as not to startle him into making noise or running and attracting attention.

A very small part of me, a muffled voice in the back of my head, was calling for me stop. But the monster had emerged and wasn't listening.

"Hello," I spoke softly. I didn't care about the start of red haze forming around him. I was much too hungry for that.

"Hey." The young man took one involuntary step back. It was his body's last attempt at saving his life.

With one quick movement I swooped him further into the alleyway, out of the light of the street lamp. I pinned him against the brick with one hand and the monster took over. I felt a snarl rip up from my throat as I sunk my teeth into his neck. He attempted feebly to escape, clawing at my arms, but he stood no chance against me.

I could feel his heartbeat slow as I drank away his life. That strong pulse, the hallmark of youth, stuttered and faded like a dying engine. His blood was liquid fire, washing away every bit of pain and every thought I had. It brought the power back to my limbs; everything felt connected again. My vision seemed clearer, my senses impossibly sharper, my thoughts logical and sane. I released a sigh, feeling the heat seep through to the very tips of my fingers. I closed my eyes and relished the feeling, the taste, the smell.

When there was nothing left to consume, I let his body slump to the ground. He was paler than me.

I glanced down one more time before exiting down the opposite end of the alleyway, taking in the scene. I felt the familiar guilt rising up, and knew I would have to deal with it later. But now, buoyed by my new power, I felt nothing but happiness. A high like nothing else. The land stretched out again before me, and I once again began to run. I _would_ see Alice again.

*

Montana. I could run forever.

*

Washington. At last.


	9. Embrace

I was ushered into the state by a ferocious thunderstorm. The rain pelted me as I ran across the border and made the ground slick and dark. The clouds rolled by menacingly, dumping their contents on the trees. It was all forest and greenery.

In the night, I could make out distant lights on the horizon. Where exactly was Forks? I had never heard of it, but Alice had mentioned that that was where the mysterious coven lived that fed only on animals. I wondered what they would think of me now. My eyes had reverted back to their original color.

Ignoring the thoughts of the young man which insistently pounded my brain, I headed for the lights in the distance. I needed a map.

*

I found a visitor's center by the side of the road on the way to the nearby city. A tired looking girl was slumped behind the counter, reading a book. She glanced up as I entered, dripping from the rain. A roll of thunder announced my approach.

"Hi there, can I help you?" She immediately straightened up, tucking some frizzy hair behind an ear. I fought a smile as I saw the title of the book she was reading. _Interview with the Vampire._

"Hello, miss. I just need a map." I kept my head tilted downwards. She would definitely be frightened if she saw my eyes.

"Oh, sure." Flustered. Blushing. Tempting...

I shook my head at the thought, letting some raindrops fly. Now that I had lost control once it would be much harder to resist the next time. The taste of blood still lingered on my tongue.

"It's getting pretty bad out there, huh?" The girl asked, flipping feverishly through the papers on her desk. She paused briefly to look up at my face and smiled.

"Yeah...it's really coming down. Does it always rain this much?"

She laughed. "Welcome to Washington."

I returned the smile and turned to look out the window at the flashes of lightening. Anything to distract myself from her rosy complexion.

Finally, after holding my breath for a good two minutes, she handed me a map. I tipped an invisible cap at her and ducked outside to stand under the roof. I read the map in the wan yellow light emanating from inside. The girl was still watching me.

Forks was on the other end of the state. Near the coast, near Seattle. Seattle wouldn't be hard to find.

Now if I were Alice, where would I be? In Forks, waiting for me? In Seattle?

...Gone?

I shivered at the thought and folded up the map, placing it in my back pocket. It felt embarrassing that a vampire should need one, but I had never visited Washington in my entire existence. With a sigh, I charged out into the night, following the highway signs to Seattle.

*

Seattle was equally as rainy. It was now morning in Washington, and cars flew by me in a rush to offices and business meetings and city life. Luckily, the dense cloud cover was perfect for keeping my sparkling to a minimum. The buildings grew up on all sides of me, reaching towards the sky. It was strange to have just run from such flat, empty spaces into something so dense and populated. Humans passed left and right, occasionally glancing at me. The rain diluted their smell, making it much easier to walk among them.

On a whim, I wandered into a store and purchased some new clothing and a pair of sunglasses. My eyes would give me away if I wasn't careful.

I stepped out into the street in an army green button down, blue jeans and Aviators, and the staring only got worse.

Too much attention. It made me feel uncomfortable.

I took to the side streets, taking in the sights. The rain picked up a bit more, soaking me, but it felt warm and comforting. It reminded me of the storm that had ushered me to Alice that first glorious night. Smiling, I rounded another corner and stopped short.

A diner. Another diner.

Of course! How could I not have thought of this? If there was one place Alice would have gone, one place that we shared in our memory, it would be a diner. How clever, how perfect. It was raining, it was cloudy…Alice had recreated our first night. Or had I? After all, she would be following my decisions in order to find me. I had a lot to learn about her and her powers.

If she was really in there.

Slowly I neared the diner, which was nestled in a tiny parking lot between towering office buildings. I folded the sunglasses and put them in my back pocket; I straightened my collar and smoothed my shirt.

The diner looked so out of place, so old fashioned compared to the glinting windows and flashing lights of the city. A fitting place for two ancient souls to reunite.

A few truckers stood outside, laughing loudly and drinking coffee. The windows were foggy here too, the condensation forming on the outside of the glass.

I felt something, some strange emotion beginning to seep out of me. Looking down, my hands glowed with a faint yellowish light. Not happiness. A slightly queasy sensation…

Was I…nervous?

I had never felt nervous in all of my vampire life. My emotions were usually very solid, black and white, so to speak. I rarely felt such tiny variations. It had to be Alice. She was the only one who made me feel them. She was reawakening the human part of me that was lost so long ago. Was this what it was like to feel human?

I stopped then, staring at the entrance of the little building. What if she wasn't in there? What if I was deluding myself, and she was gone, living her life elsewhere? It had been so long. At least two months. Would she really have waited?

She had waited before. But then, she hadn't known me. Perhaps I had scared her off. My broken, messed up past had frightened her. She didn't want to invest time in something so…

No.

I had to go in. I had to face the fact that she may not be there. I had to face the fact that perhaps, my little pixie was heartbroken and would never forgive me.

Only ten more steps to the door of the diner. Please, let her be in there. The color grew brighter, shimmering around my form. I was glowing.

Five more steps. The door opened and someone stepped out under the awning.

Two steps.

One step.

I placed my hand against the cool glass and pushed. A bell jingled above my head and a cold gust of wind blew by me. It smelled lovely inside; plenty of humans, of course, but pancakes, syrup…things that were no longer appetizing, but still reminded me of the past.

I swallowed hard and kept my eyes on the ground.

When I looked up, I would know for certain whether or not the rest of my life would be worth living.

I looked up.

The loveliest thing sat at the end of the diner in a tiny booth by the window. Her eyes locked onto mine and I felt that I would burst with emotion. She held a cup of undrunk coffee in her tiny hands. The cup was shaking.

"Jasper," she whispered, only loud enough for me to hear.

In three long strides, I had my arms around her. Faces turned to look at us; faint conversation filled the space. Alice nestled her head in my chest and her body shook.

"I thought I would never see you again. I love you, Alice. So much."

The words flowed out of me, without a second thought. I saw the faint yellowish glow around myself brighten into bliss and spread throughout the diner. She looked up at me, into my eyes, and I hugged her tighter, pressing my face to her hair.

"I love you, too."

A sigh escaped my lips. I could die of happiness. But I would end up once again in Alice's arms…my own personal heaven.

An old woman at the bar chuckled softly and smiled at us. I took Alice's hand and lead her into the street. The diner grew silent behind us, watching us leave. The bell jingled, and we were gone.


	10. Introductions

**So I know it's been an obscene amount of time since my last update, but I recently saw New Moon and couldn't resist! I'm currently on break from vet school so I will do my best to update one more time before I go back. Hopefully there are still some of you who are interested in reading! **

We rented a hotel room in the center of Seattle; a comfortable little suite with a giant bed, a kitchenette and a shower. The sun was setting outside, the rain pattering gently on the roof. Outside, the city lights began to turn on one by one, lighting the darkening streets.

I lay on the bed, breathing in and out slowly, my eyes closed. Sleep could never come to me, but I wouldn't want it too. Alice lay nestled next to me, one hand on my chest, her head resting on my arm. Her eyes were closed too.

The radio sang a quiet melody in the corner. A slow song with a lazy beat filled the room.

Peace.

We lay like that for hours before changing positions. This time, we faced each other.

Words were not necessary for Alice and I. We knew exactly what the other was feeling, what the other was thinking. I had never thought myself a mind reader, but Alice had proved me wrong.

She watched my crimson irises swirl slowly and said nothing. She asked no questions, made no faces. She simply gazed at me before placing one small hand on the side of my face and drawing me closer.

We reunited for days.

**

Seattle saw us off with more rain. Surprise, surprise. I took one last glance at the city under the thick cloud cover and smiled at the towering hotel that had housed us for a week.

What a week it had been.

My eyes were fading again, back to a less shocking color. We had talked of the human, Alice and I. She forgave me. My very own Mother Theresa. She told me that as long as I forgave myself, she would always do the same.

She talked to me of the Cullens. In my absence, she had had more visions. I talked to her of Maria and the newborns. She had remained in Iowa after I was taken, and had waited for some sort of sign. She had never doubted that I would return. Seattle was my decision, and she had responded. The diner was her idea, after all. Clever girl.

Now we walked, hand and hand, toward Forks. Her visions had painted a clear picture of where they lived, so we walked along the predestined road.

"Alice," I asked softly, "What are these other vampires like? Did you see anything more of their personalities, of their behaviors?"

"Well, there are five of them, and they are all very different. Carlisle is the patriarch. He will welcome us with open arms. I've never seen anyone like him."

"What does he do?"

"He's a doctor. Can you imagine that?!? Seeing blood every day…performing _surgeries? _It seems crazy, doesn't it?"

I grimaced as an unwelcome, predatory thought filled my mind.

"I'll have to ask him how he does it. That's amazing."

"And there are four others as well. There's Emmett, Rosalie, Edward and Esme. Esme is Carlisle's mate…she's also very understanding and motherly. Emmett seems very easy going, playful even…a regular frat boy. Rosalie is a bit more difficult, a bit more high maintenance. She's with Emmett. And Edward…"

"Edward?" I probed, feeling her uncertainty.

"He will be the most difficult to convince. He doesn't trust many…only his coven. He seems…_incomplete_. He's searching for something, but he doesn't know what it is yet. The search has made him irritable…antisocial."

Edward. Hmm. I would probably have to use my power on him when we met. He sounded like the type that would try to rip my throat out if I made any wrong moves.

"And have you seen anything of our meeting?"

"Not much. I've only seen us approaching the house together."

"Well, we might as well get it over with. Let's go."

"Wow, Jazz, you've certainly changed your tune."

"I trust you, Alice. If you think that this will turn out for the best, then I believe you."

She beamed at me and took my hand.

"To Forks!"

"To Forks."

**

We wandered through the rainy forest, trees and shrubs growing up all around us. Alice had seen this path before in her visions, leading around a small lake towards the back of the coven's great house. I hadn't caught a glimpse of the structure yet, but we were getting closer.

"They certainly live in the middle of nowhere," Alice exclaimed, ducking lithely under a wet bough.

"It's a smart move. They're out of the public eye."

Wayyy out of the public eye. Forks was tiny; the town square containing only a few coffee shops and restaurants, a hardware store and a post office. There was a high school and a middle school, a supermarket and a whole bunch of houses. It was the quintessential small town.

We wandered through another half mile of greenery, before arriving at a clearing.

In front of us, towering on a rocky foundation, stood a great, white house. Huge floor to ceiling windows stretched along the back wall, overlooking a lake. They sparkled in the fading light. It was breathtakingly beautiful; a house fit for a wealthy businessman on retreat, not a family of vampires. I froze where I was, admiring it.

Alice took a few steps closer, her mouth agape. A small smile was playing at the corners of her lips.

"It's beautiful. Jasper, I can see us living here. This will be our new home!"

"Be careful, Alice. If they see us coming and become alarmed they could attack."

She rolled her eyes at me. "Don't worry so much."

Stubborn, as usual. My little pixie ran forward lightly, as agile as an acrobat, and skirted around the side of the house. She was looking for the front door. I sniffed the air, took in my surroundings. I wasn't nearly as trusting as she was. The territory smelled earthy, wild; there was no sign of humans or human blood. In territories of vampires who fed often, you could always smell the leftovers or at least a trace of what had been there previously. With this coven, the air was fresh. They really were clean.

I made my way around the side of the house with Alice, gawking. There was a long, dirt road leading out of the trees, where it rejoined the main road far off in the distance. A short flight of steps lead up to an extravagant front door. I swallowed hard and stopped. The concept of vampires living in one place, in such a place as this, seemed impossible.

Alice turned around then, spinning on one heel, like a dancer.

"Jazz? You okay?"

"Alice…are you sure about this?"

"Oh, don't tell me you're getting cold feet!"

"I always have cold feet."

"Ha, ha. No, really…it'll be fine, Jasper. You lived for an entire month with a pack of bloodthirsty newborns, and now you're afraid of a bunch of _vegetarians?!?_"

"That's an interesting name for them."

"It's what they call themselves."

"You know, they're probably going to be afraid of you once you start spouting off their life stories. Stalker."

"Chicken."

I laughed lightly and she grinned. Slowly, she reached out to wrap her soft fingers around my rough ones. I felt more sure with her touching me.

"Now come on."

We made our way up the front steps, hand in hand. Alice reached forward and rang the doorbell.

A chime rang somewhere in the house. Seconds passed.

I heard no footsteps. The door opened hesitantly and a beautiful face appeared behind the glass.

This must have been Esme. Her mahogany curls fell around her shoulders and a black dress draped over motherly curves. Her eyes were a stunning shade of gold, and they searched ours questioningly. I watched her linger on my scars and cringed inwardly. Please, let her look past what she saw…

After a moment of searching, she opened the glass door a crack. Smart. I wouldn't open the door all the way either.

"Can I help you?" she asked quietly, her voice smooth and gentle, hiding her unease.

I looked down at Alice, who was beaming up at Esme with a look of admiration.

"Hello, my name is Alice, and this is my mate, Jasper. You must be Esme."

**

"Has someone sent you here, Alice?" Esme asked incredulously, looking down at my little counterpart.

"No, no one has. We are here of our own accord. May we come in?"

"Alice…" I whispered, slightly embarrassed.

She shot me a look, but I continued to stare down at her sternly. I could feel the nervousness pouring out of Esme.

"Uh…sure. Come in. My husband, Carlisle, will want to meet you. Can we do anything for you?"

I knew Esme was dying to ask us why we were here in a more outright way, but she was far too polite. She opened the door a bit more, allowing Alice's tiny body entrance into the great house. I met her eyes as she opened it wider for me, and nodded slightly. In my mind's eye, I focused on her glowing form and thought of my reunion with Alice. She smiled then, instantly becoming calmer.

"Please, come in Jasper."

I walked past Esme, into the great entranceway. The walls were white and beige, and covered with elegant paintings. A grand piano sat on a raised platform on one side of the room, across from two white couches. A giant television stood at the other end. I could get used to this place.

Suddenly, from under the staircase, Carlisle entered.

His presence was unlike any I had ever encountered. Alice had been a shock, but this man's calmness, his confident and trusting manner pervaded the room. Only humans exuded this kind of compassion. Vampires never came close.

"Esme, do we have guests?"

"It's wonderful to finally meet you, Carlisle." Alice ran forward and took his hand, shaking it vigorously. "I've heard that you are a doctor…how can you stand it?"

"Alice…" I called again, laughing awkwardly at her forwardness. It was something I would have to get used to.

"Don't worry, my friend. I can see she means no harm." Carlisle smiled warmly at me, before turning back to Alice.

"It's taken centuries of self discipline, but it's very rewarding. Now, please tell me, what brings you two to Forks?"

"We've come to see you. Esme, Carlisle…my mate and I want to follow your lifestyle. I have…had visions…of the way you live, and I am prepared to deal with the consequences. I…we…no longer want to feed on human blood."

Esme and Carlisle exchanged a glance. I could feel the optimism flooding out of them, the slowly growing excitement. Carlisle met Alice's eyes, gold to gold. She was already well on her way.

"Visions?" Esme asked breathlessly.

"Yes. I'm sure you've heard of vampires having extra abilities. I can see the future. Of course, someone has to make a decision for me to see it, but I'm generally spot on."

Esme laughed softly.

"Oh, we're very familiar with extra abilities. Our son, Edward, is quite gifted himself."

"He's a mind reader. Yes, I've seen that as well." Alice smiled excitedly, almost bouncing on the spot.

A mind reader?! I felt a surge of anger spread up through my core. Why didn't she _tell me?_ The last thing I wanted was some stranger, even if he was future family, sifting through my personal thoughts. I glared at her then, my eyes searing into her back. Carlisle saw my expression and turned to face me.

"Edward means no harm. I will instruct him to give you your privacy."

"Is he here now?" I asked, slightly irritated.

"No. He and Emmett, our other son, are out hunting. Emmett's mate is here, however. Her name is Rosalie. Rose?"

Carlisle called up the staircase. Only a moment passed before a breathtaking figure appeared at the top. She descended, walking slowly, one ivory hand on the banister. She took in the scene like a great cat. I saw her eyes move to Alice first, who was smiling hugely. I knew Alice was dying for some company, and Rosalie seemed to be just her type. Gorgeous and very into fashion, with perfect blonde curls. She could have been a statue of a goddess brought to life. I could picture the two of them shopping together, flitting about town.

Her eyes fell on me, and I noticed the pause before her next step. Her eyes widened a fraction of an inch before a sour look crossed her face. She wasn't as trusting as the others.

Carlisle frowned.

"Rosalie. This is Jasper and Alice. They're interested in joining our effort."

"Is that so?" her voice was colder than I had expected.

"Jasper, you look like you could be her brother!" chirped Alice, looking between the two of us.

At this statement, Rosalie's expression darkened.

"Well I'd say our family is large enough. We don't want to attract any more attention."

As much as her words discouraged me, I could feel a connection to Rosalie. If it were me, I wouldn't welcome in two strangers either. There was something a bit more primal about her, a bit more vampire. She hadn't regained as much of her humanity as her fellow family members. Her emotions were volatile, changing erratically…I watched, registering her moods as they swirled around her.

"You'll have to pardon Rosalie. She doesn't often take kindly to guests. But they _will_ be staying here, if they wish, for as long as they wish. We would never turn away creatures who are attempting to do good." Carlisle shot a disapproving look at the stunning woman and turned back to us. The perfect gentleman.

"Why don't you take the upstairs guest room? Like I said, feel free to stay as long as you want. We hunt often, out in the forest. All that we ask is that you don't hunt near town where you could be seen. This is a permanent residence, and any slipups could cost us our home."

"We understand." I felt instantly drawn to the man, although I hardly knew him. He seemed genuine. Not like any vampire I had ever known. He reminded me of an officer I once answered to, stoic and wise and soothing. I wanted to listen to him, wanted to follow him.

"Well Jasper, I guess that means we'd better get some things!" Alice beamed, the happiness rolling off of her.

But at that second, the back door swung open. A huge vampire filled the door frame, his tight fitting t-shirt showcasing powerful muscles.

"I'm hoooooooomeeeeeeee," he called in a sing-song voice, stretching his arms above his head.

Rosalie stepped forward from the staircase, smiling seductively.

"Emmett."

"Babe." He strutted forward, taking the woman in his arms and holding her tightly. She looked tiny inside his embrace, her icy demeanor melting at his touch. He looked down, over her shoulder at Alice and I.

"Hey. I'm Emmett."

"Hello, I'm Alice, and this is Jasper." Emmett nodded slowly, the smile never leaving his face.

"I smelled you guys before I got here. Figured you were visiting Carlisle or something." He looked at me, clearly interested in what he saw. "Nice scars. Badass."

Rosalie stifled a laugh. Esme sighed. Carlisle shook his head slowly. I knew that beneath Emmett's carefree nature there was a longing for an explanation, but I wasn't in the mood to divulge.

Emmett laughed. "You'll have to tell me about it later. I love a good fight story. You ever watch wrestling?"

What was with these people? The reactions of all of them had been so different, but they had all been willing to turn their backs to us and act normally in our company after only a short time. There was no guard up, only a slight hesitation. It was as if they always met others peacefully, with no confrontations. And now, they wanted to know if I watched _wrestling…_

""Where's Edward?" asked Esme suddenly, interrupting the clearly awkward conversation.

"He should be here soon. He was listening in on some hunters that we ran into. They were talking about some "animal" two towns over that killed a hiker. Probably some other vamp heading this way. I hope he gets close….I'm dying for a fight. You know what I mean?" He looked at me appreciatively.

I smirked.

Carlisle ignored the comment. "We'll have to be on the look out. Steer them out of our territory, if they show up."

"Sounds like fun." Emmett beamed. Over his deep voice I heard the faint steps of another outside, a good mile away. A second later, Edward stepped through the back door. Fast. Very fast. Normally there was a good five seconds between hearing footsteps and the arrival of a vampire.

He didn't look menacing, as Emmett had at first, but he carried with him a certain intimidating aura. Not the obvious presence of brute force, but something different, more secretive. Something that could be sensed, but that you couldn't quite put your finger on. He seemed to be quite an old soul.

Edward paused momentarily on the threshold, crouching a fraction of an inch lower as his eyes darted between us and then landed on Carlisle. Their eyes met, and there was a brief second of silent communication. As if Carlisle was filling him in.

"Hello." His voice was nonchalant, completely apathetic. He straightened up.

Formal introductions were made again. I kept my eye on him the entire time. I couldn't read his emotions as well as the others. Emmett had his splayed out for everyone to see. Generally happy, easy going. Rosalie was much more complicated, but predictable. Esme and Carlisle were both very even keeled. But Edward seemed to read with nothing at all, besides a general wariness. Alice was right. Right about everything. Certainly, he was _incomplete. _As if a piece of him had been detached from him, and was still missing. I wondered if that's how I had looked, before I had found Alice…

He turned to me then, inspecting me thoroughly. For a second, I felt strange, as though a great spot light had been shone down onto me from above. I felt my body tense unwillingly.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't."

"Didn't what?" A slight smile played on Edward's lips. Playing dumb.

"Carlisle has told me of your abilities."

He paused and then scoffed, his smile widening to reveal perfect teeth.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

"Thank you."

Alice looked between the two of us anxiously.

"Jasper, why don't we do some shopping? We need more than one pair of clothes."

"Sounds wonderful."

This would be interesting.

**


End file.
